“Saying you want the leader of your country to fail is like saying you want the pilot of the plane you’re on to crash.”
I read that, or a variant of it, on Facebook right after Donald Trump won the election.
I don’t think anybody actually saw the results of this election coming. Everyone expected Hillary Clinton to win. After all, every time you turned the news on they were talking about how evil Donald Trump was, ripping into him for his latest faux pas no matter how trivial it may have been. “Donald Trump made this sexist remark to another guy 10 years ago!” Seriously, I don’t know what was worse, the media’s obsession over his “Grab them by the pussy” comment, or the self-righteous outrage and indignation by liberal pussies everywhere. Because when guys are amongst themselves they aren’t going to make sexual comments about women. Just like women never make sexual comments about men. Suddenly guys are pouring out of the woodwork to denounce his “lewd” and “inappropriate” comment. Like any of you haven’t ever sexually objectified a woman before. I have no problem admitting that I sexually objectify women every day. If she’s attractive I’m going to look. And the conversations I’ve had with other guys about women? If these media goons ever heard those conversations they’d probably have heart attacks and die (not necessarily a bad thing). If they found this website? Forget it, I’m done. The media has been demonizing Trump so hard that even NORPs are starting to realize that there’s an agenda being pushed down their throats. Thanks for bringing more people over to my side, guys! I honestly never thought I’d see the day when my beliefs were the norm. Always bet on AJ:
Big ups to AngryJerk.net Brother Rogar for this video and his kick-ass Duke Nukem impression. Someone give this man a voice acting gig plz.
The outcry from libtards everywhere has been comical, and only serves to demonstrate their hypocrisy. Where was this kind of outcry when George W. Bush won re-election after fucking the country up so bad during his first term? The dude started a bogus war under false pretenses, people actually died because of his actions, where the fuck was the media witch hunt and severe public outcry then? Oh, I know where, still in middle school. A lot of the people complaining today weren’t even old enough to buy a pack of smokes when Obama won his second term, let alone form a serious and legitimate political thought. Most of these crybabies today are products of the Entitlement Era. Thanks to lackadaisical parenting, most millennials have this mindset that they shouldn’t have to work for anything and everything should be handed to them. Just like when they were children in the supermarket, if they scream and cry loud enough and long enough they’ll be given whatever they want. And just like a screaming child in the supermarket, my recommended method of dealing with these little assholes is ignoring them until they tire themselves out. If they don’t tire out, administer a backhand to the face.
I’ve never been a fan of the media and I’ve never been a fan of liberal crybabies, so anyone who can send both of these groups into a fit of rage not unlike a child’s temper tantrum gets my support. By winning the election, Donald Trump has successfully trolled more then half of the country. This victory will go down in history as one of the greatest acts of trolling ever. All Donald did was flamebait his opponents and critics during his whole campaign, and he still fucking won. Facebook was a beautiful sight to behold on the morning of November 9th, as my newsfeed was filled with the sorrow and anguish of angry self-righteous crybabies. Millennials were meme-ing like motherfuckers, posting any and every anti-Trump image macro they could share from their neo-liberal celebrity figureheads like George Takei (who gets a pass because TOS was awesome) and Katy Perry (who gets a pass because she’s fucking hot). The waterways of America were salted with the tears of millions. Canada’s immigration site crashed under the high volume of traffic it received from these little whiners, who immediately realized that it’s not actually easy to gain Canadian citizenship. Unlike America where you hop a fence and you get taxpayer money, Canada has requirements and a lengthy process to becoming a citizen. You have to work for it, and since working for anything is a foreign concept to most of these self-entitled pieces of shit most of them gave up and instead chose to cry about miscounted ballots and Russian hacking. All those celebrities that said they were leaving? They went back on it, of course, since “America needs Amy Schumer/Rosie O’Donnell/Whoopi Goldberg/Samuel L. Jackson now more than evar!!!!” No, seriously, that’s how they’re backpedaling out of it. No bitch, you made a promise. Pack your shit and GTFO.
All jokes aside, I should really point out that I’m not a conservative either. I don’t blindly swear my allegiance to anything or anyone, and anyone who does is a fucking retard who has no business casting a vote. Always vote based on solid facts. Trump wasn’t exactly my first choice for president, and I honestly never thought he’d win. The guy’s a clown, and I’m stunned that he beat out a career politician. I really didn’t like anybody that was running. The only candidate who seemed genuine at all was Bernie Sanders, and if he wasn’t a total fucking commie I’d have considered getting up off my ass to vote for him. Hell, if the Dems hadn’t swindled Bernie out of the nomination, they might be sitting in the White House still. If Bernie had went against Trump, Bernie would have won. Instead, the DNC decided it was a better idea to push someone who was under federal investigation and was more openly crooked than Trump. Seriously, Trump’s a New York City construction businessman, that’s actually very hard to beat in terms of crookedness.
But Trump is president now, it’s time to accept this fact, whether or not you like it. Barring assassination or impeachment (and I’m sure someone will try both at least once), he’s the leader of this country for the next four years. It’s time to dry the tears from your eyes and start looking forward. People are standing at the ready to crucify him and he’s just barely taken office. I have no doubts that no matter what he does it will be wrong in the tear-drenched eyes of these crybaby pussies. Give Donald Trump a chance.
This is the first time that we have somebody with no previous political experience running the country, and this might be a good thing. Look at where career politicians have gotten us in the last 50 years. Career politicians have fucked this country up with “politics as usual”. Career politicians have already been bought and paid for by lobbyists long before they’ve made it into office. Trump on the other hand is a seasoned businessman with a global real estate empire waiting for him when he leaves office, he has no real reason to bother with lobbyists. In fact, he’s already said he plans to put a 5 year ban on lobbying. It’s only the first week of his term, so whether or not he actually will remains yet to be seen.
Being a seasoned businessman, Trump has an advantage when it comes to negotiating with other countries. Business negotiations can be very fucking brutal, especially New York City construction negotiations. Try dealing with the fucking unions. The only difference between union and diplomatic negotiations is the meaning of the word “strike”. I can see Trump negotiating with North Korea:
Trump: Alright Kim, you’re gonna cut the bullshit and dismantle your nuclear weapon program, because, let’s face it, it’s terrible. Your science is all wrong, my guys tell me your science is wrong. We invented nuclear weapons, believe me, we know.
Kim Jong Un: I’m not dismantling anything. Give me more food please and maybe I’ll let you talk to me again in a few months.
Trump: Look Kimmy- can I call you Kimmy? Kimmy, you’re only gonna hurt yourself with this program, okay? You blow yourself up, you blow up one of those things on your own soil, you guys- your people are gonna die. You’re gonna die, alright? I know all about fallout, it’s radiation, you’ll be poisoned and you’ll die painfully.
Kim Jong Un: I fed my uncle to dogs. I’m not afraid of you. We are working on missiles that can hit California.
Trump: Okay, that’s what I thought. Alright Kimmy, here’s what I’m gonna do. I know some guys, some really big guys down south, they aren’t too happy with you right now. When I’m done here, they’re gonna wanna know how you treated me. Right now you’re not treating me very good, okay Kimmy?
Kim Jong Un: Are you threatening me?
Trump: Threatening you? I’m not threatening you. Who’s threatening you? Those guys down south though, they want to hurt you. If I tell them not to they won’t, do you understand me? If I call them after this meeting though and I tell them that you’re being rude to me, then who knows what they’ll do? They might come up here to Pyongyang- very beautiful city by the way, I love the palace. They’ll come up here to this city and it won’t look too beautiful anymore.
Kim Jong Un: You dare to threaten me in my own palace?!
Trump: Threaten you in your own palace now? No Kimmy, I’m talking about those guys down south. This is a nice palace by the way, almost as nice as the Trump International in DC.
Kim Jong Un: This is war! We will destroy America!
Trump: Alright Kimmy, you know what? I tried to be nice to you, but since you were rude to me I’m gonna be rude too. Go fuck yourself, this palace will be a Trump International Hotel and Resort inside three months, alright Kimmy? When I’m through you won’t even be working the goddamn hibachi. You had your chance, now it’s over.
Trump walks out of the palace. He gets outside, then pulls out his phone.
Trump: Alright boys, bring it down.
Within seconds, an airstrike hits the palace and reduces it to rubble. Similar airstrikes begin all around. Trump puts on a pair of Rayban sunglasses and climbs into a waiting Black Hawk. The helicopter flies off into the sunset as Operation Rolling Thunder 2 commences.
Reunified Korea in a year, none of this bullshit where we send Bill Clinton over with some underage whores for the Norks to bang. China might not be happy with it, but oh well, tough luck, you guys should have done something other than enable a brutal dictator.
And all of Trump’s contacts in the business world will prove invaluable in rebuilding the economy that Obama and Bush completely tanked. In light of Trump’s victory, Ford scrapped plans to build a new plant in Mexico, instead choosing to invest $700 million in a plant in Michigan. Sprint is creating 5,000 new jobs in America as well. We’re off to a good start with rebuilding the broken economy, so it’ll be interesting to see how much progress Trump can actually make on this.
Regrading ISIS, it looks like Trump may have an early shot to prove his mettle by taking out the leader, al-Baghdadi. While Obama was more concerned with collateral damage and civilian casualties, it appears that Trump really doesn’t give a fuck. Assholes like al-Baghdadi (whose name honestly sounds like something out of a gay porno) bank on the fact that we won’t bomb them because they’re surrounded by civilians. You banked wrong, dude. If Trump can Raqqa the casbah (sorry, it appears al-Baghdadi is holed up in Mosul, but I’ll be damned if I wasn’t going to make that joke), then that should score him some serious points and put him on the fast-track to a historical presidency.
A lot of people are worried about gay rights and race relations under Trump. This is based on fear-mongering bullshit by the same news outlets who pretty much acted as Hillary’s PR team. In actuality, Trump has already said that he intends to respect the decision made by the Supreme Court regarding gay marriage. As far as race relations go, Trump actually upset the white apple cart in Palm Beach, Florida back in the 90’s by insisting that his new country club include Jews and blacks, in the face of all the people that were against it:
“When Donald opened his club in Palm Beach called Mara-a-Lago, he insisted on accepting Jews and blacks even though other clubs in Palm Beach to this day discriminate against blacks and Jews,” Kessler says.
Even Trump agrees, “white supremacy” is fucking stupid.
So in closing, I say that we give the man a chance before we hang him out to dry. Don’t allow the media to influence your opinions, check the facts for yourself and make your own judgments. Hear a quote? Check the context, read the whole speech. Chances are the media is only playing a snippet of what was actually said in order to promote more conflict and enhance their viewer counts.
Here’s to the next four years, let’s make America great again.
Señor Juan