How to actually deal with illegal immigration: Make Mexico Great Again

Angry_Jerk February 2, 2017 3Comments

As usual, I’ve already figured out the solution while everyone else is busy being a bunch of screaming fucktards.

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Gun control

Angry_Jerk July 22, 2014 0Comments

America has a problem.

It seems like you can’t turn on the news anymore without seeing that some pussy ass faggot snapped and shot up a bunch of innocent people. When the news isn’t busy glamourizing the shooter by slamming their mug in your face and rereading their bullshit manifestos, they’re showing the reactions of some of the biggest idiots that they can find. From politicians to the average person, the most common reaction involves the discussion of gun control. “This wouldn’t have happened if we had tighter gun laws!”, cries the voice from the left. “Bullshit!”, replies the voice on the right. “This maniac would have been stopped if everyone was armed!” “But loose gun laws made it easy for him to access a gun!”, whines the voice on the left. “If you take away guns from law abiding citzens then only criminals will have them!”, screams the voice on the right.

Both of you, shut the fuck up. Professor AJ is here to take you all to school, and end the gun control debate once and for all. We have a left nut and a right nut, so I guess this makes me the dick in the middle.

First, we need to stop sucking the Founding Fathers’ dicks like they were some kind of all-knowing infallable messiahs sent by God himself to enlighten all of mankind, and stop acting like the Constitution is the most perfectly conceived and written piece of literature in the history of man (that honor is of course reserved for “The Time Machine”). The Constitution was written in the late 1700’s. Way before any aspects of modern society were even conceived. If you had went up to any of the founding fathers and told them of things like the internet, drone strikes, automobiles, fighter jets, assault rifles, TV, smart phones, 4chan, or pretty much anything we take for granted today, they would have seen you committed to an asylum for the rest of your days. That’s granted you were even able to get them to listen to you for more than 30 seconds. They were, for the most part, a pompous lot. Don’t let all that noble “Father, I cannot tell a lie” shit you learned in grade school fool you. These guys were the wealthy people of their time. They were pretty much the Colonies’ version of the 1% in their time. They had the money and clout necessary to instigate a revolution. They weren’t anywhere near Joe Schmoe, except when they needed to convince him to join them in fighting against the British.

I wasn’t there, but I can say with about 95% certainty that the American Revolution wasn’t fought because these rich people gave a shit about Joe Schmoe’s freedom from British rule. Most likely, the British started trying to tax their money/take their land. I’m not going to waste time breaking down what each of these people did and why they had money/land, but if you care enough to research this you’ll see. The whole “We fight for the freedom and liberty of the people” thing was a load of shit they used to garner support amongst the people. The poor and stupid are always sent to die for the rich and smart, it’s that simple. They got the people all riled up with talk of freedom and liberty, and seduced them to go lay their lives on the line so we could spank the shit out of those pasty-skinned tea-sipping faggot Britishers (who by all means were a bunch of cocky fucking idiots; Wearing bright red uniforms? Banging on drums so the enemy knew they were coming? For fuck’s sake, they were just asking for it). If the Founding Fathers had truly given two fucks about the liberty of the common man, slavery and would have ended before the 1800’s, and women would have been able to vote around the same time. Might makes right, history is written by the victors, etc. There’s no way we’d learn anything negative about our Founding Fathers. They did the same shit that society’s elite do now. Secret societies, belittling the commoners, orgies of debauchery, crazy Masonic rituals, all that fun Bohemian Grove shit.

Why is this relevant to my argument about gun control? Because it shows that the Founding Fathers were mortal men with an agenda, just like every leader in history. Like mortal men, they were capable of making mistakes. And really, who would have had the foresight back then to predict today’s society? The Constitution was not written with any aspect of our society in mind. It was not written with the idea that some 18 year old with mental illness might decide it’s a good idea to grab an automatic rifle and go wild west on his classmates. It wasn’t written with the idea that some middle-aged loony would go on the internet, get schematics for IEDs, and blow up a building full of 9-5 workers because he was pissed at the president. It wasn’t written with the idea that the military had remotely-controlled aircraft capable of carrying out precise missile strikes on people holed up in a compound. It wasn’t written with the idea that a group of crazy Hadjis hiding in a cave 4,000 miles away on the other side of the world would be sending sleeper agents to our country to murder innocent civilians over religion, using tactics like hijacking an aircraft and turning it into a missile, or blowing themselves up in a crowded venue. It wasn’t written with the idea of nukes, chemical or biological weapons in mind. It wasn’t written with the idea of a global media network that glamorized and obsessed over psychotic murderers and their terrible crimes. If the Founding Fathers had thought of any of this, I guarantee you the Constitution would have been much more restrictive than it is. It was written during a time where people weren’t total psychotic cunts, and could be trusted to be at least somewhat responsible with the use of weapons. The idea that a child would turn a gun on his classmates? Inconceivable. People had a different mindset. There was no sense of entitlement. If you wanted something then you had to earn it, be it respect, money, work, whatever. You didn’t have the government, mental disorders, welfare, SSI, or anything else to fall back on if you failed. If you failed, you failed. Have fun living in a gutter, dipshit.

The biggest reason we’re in the shithole we’re in today is because we gave rights to people who weren’t ready to have them. The right to influence the lives of others isn’t something that everyone should just be entitled to. Why should some ignorant piece of shit high school dropout living in a ghetto have the right to influence the laws that govern me? We freed the slaves, then dumped them unprepared into a world that was still hostile to them. Same with women, really, and any other group that was given the right to vote or carry out actions that affect the lives of others. These are people who should have been educated, brought up to an equal level, before they were allowed to do things like vote or enlist. Racial and gender inequality would have been done and dealt with in a highly effective manner much earlier on if we had vested a little time in the past to educating these groups before giving them their rights. If you give someone a tool they don’t know how to use, chances are good that they’ll just misuse it and ruin shit for everyone else. Then when you get mad at them for misusing it, they’re going to get mad at you because they don’t understand how they’re misusing the tool when you never properly explained to them how to use it in the first place. It’s like giving a toddler a hammer, telling him it’s used for pounding on things, then getting mad at the toddler because he took the hammer and started pounding on walls and other fragile things. Your fault for not teaching the kid how to properly use the tool, dickhead.

And that is why we now have an entitlement culture. That entitlement culture is a contributor to gun violence today. Everyone thinks they’re entitled to have their every desire fulfilled with little to no effort put in, because “MUH FREEDUMZ” and “MUH LIBERTIES” and “MUH MURICAN DREEM”. And when they can’t get what they want? They turn to that most basic of primal human responses, violence. What easier way to deal with someone who wronged you than to point a hunk of metal at them and end their life with the twitch of a finger? Tired of being some insignificant speck? Grab a semi-automatic rifle and injure/kill people in bulk, then your name and actions will be remembered for years to come. Negative attention is still attention, and that’s what everything boils down to here. These mass shooters are really just a bunch of faggots begging for someone to notice them.

So like I said, the Founding Fathers had none of this shit in mind when they decided that the people should be allowed to privately own guns. It wasn’t like there was the risk of someone’s son deciding that he wasn’t receiving enough respect and grabbing a musket or pistol and blasting his classroom up. The people owning guns was an effective deterrent against the British Army deciding to reclaim their colonies, or a foreign army deciding to march in and take over. The armies of that time weren’t armed with anything much better, save for cannons. It wasn’t like a group of Minutemen could be picked off by an elite commando unit from a mile away, or be targeted by some guy on the other side of the country using satellites and precise drone strikes. The whole idea of the people suddenly deciding that they weren’t happy with their government and overthrowing it again using the weapons they were legally allowed to own? More like it allowed for the same kind of people as the Founding Fathers to decide that they knew what was best for people they really couldn’t relate to and convince them yet again to fight for the interests of the rich and smart. There have always been three types of people in this world: Those who give the orders, those who follow the orders, and those who refuse to follow the orders. Those who refuse are either outnumbered and killed by those who follow the orders, or they use their intelligence to rise to a position where they give the orders. Those who give the orders are usually harboring some ulterior motive that doesn’t really give a fuck about those who follow the orders so long as they’re kept complacent. Those who follow the orders either spend the rest of their lives following the orders, or they follow enough orders to give a few orders that aren’t really their own.

My point is, the average person can’t be trusted anymore with the rights that the Constitution grants them. Gun ownership isn’t for everyone. The whole thing about guns being a safeguard against the governmental oppressor? Obsolete, when the government has drones, elite commandos, tanks, satellite surveillance, the CIA, etc. If the people were to go head-to-head with the government today, it would either be a bloodbath against the people, or we’d just be replacing one dictatorship with another. We’ve had ample reason to do it already, but we haven’t. Fuck you, that ship has sailed. We gave them time to win the arms race against the people, and they did. Owning guns to counter against the government? Pointless in today’s society. Our only saving grace here is that anyone can join the military, and you might find many soldiers who would refuse to fire on/bomb their own people. They can join us in fighting the foreign troops/mercs who would be used in such a scenario to reign in the people.

That said, there is a legit purpose (aside from hunting of course) for owning a gun: Home defense. Not against jackbooted-thugs (Infowarrior slang for SWAT/the police), but against actual thugs like home invaders, rapists, etc. Yeah, you’re running the risk of them being better armed and getting the upper hand, but it’s better than having to wait for the ordeal to be over, waiting for the cops to show, having them fill out a report, then say “We’ll look into it, but don’t expect results because we’re underfunded, overworked, other bullshit excuses, wah wah wah.”

The only problem with this is, the people who live in your home might be deadlier than the people looking to break into it. You might be of sound mind, but what about Little Jimmy? Little Jimmy’s been getting fucked with at school, and Little Jimmy’s getting tired of it. Little Jimmy might exact his revenge by grabbing your gun and calling it high noon in the classroom.

There’s no simple solution to any of this. We can’t take away civilian guns, and we can’t just let everyone own one. Here’s my suggestion.

We need cops who are better trained to recognize and handle mental disorders. Part of the academy should be Psychological Profiling 101. Yes, people will still slip by, it happens. But it will be much less than what we have now. They also need to be taught how to recognize a non-threat without turning it into a month-long ordeal for the person. False reporting is used as a bullying tactic in its own right. Catch the threat, get them help, whatever you need to do to ensure they don’t go postal.

A detailed psych eval should be required for gun ownership, not just for you, but for everyone living in your residence. The people doing the eval need to be taught the difference between “He’s prone to bouts of depression” and “He’s going to snap and take daddy’s gun and re-enact Columbine for his senior prank.” Otherwise, you’ll end up with extremely restrictive ownership laws to the point where anyone can be denied a gun for practically no reason. Also, you can have permits without a registry. If you don’t know why a registry is a bad idea, watch the movie “Red Dawn” (the original, not the remake). There’s a scene about 13 minutes in where an enemy commander tells his troops to find a bunch of ATF forms detailing the names and residences of people who own guns.

But most importantly, a shift in the typical human mindset needs to happen. This sense of entitlement needs to go away, and the idea of working to get what we want needs to be restored. It can be done, but it involves going up against rich and smart people whose interests require the human mindset to be set where it currently is. Unlikely, but not impossible.

The tl;dr version:

The Founding Fathers didn’t envision people being this crazy or the military having such advanced weaponry. Gun ownership isn’t for everyone, but a free society still needs to be allowed to own guns as a crime deterrent. There should be better, more effective regulations for owning a gun, but not too restrictive to where we’re denying almost everyone who applies. Cops need to know how to spot actual threats without wasting time on fake bullshit calls against people who are just different and not really a threat. Everyone in the household should be properly evaluated before one person can own a gun.

We need guns, but not everyone should be entitled to them.

I love Arizona

Angry_Jerk May 17, 2010 0Comments

Most of you have probably heard about the recent shitstorm going on about Arizona’s new immigration law. You’re probably assuming that since everybody (i.e. the select group that the mainstream media constantly shows to promote their agenda) is up in arms about this law, it must be something dreadful. And dreadful it is. This evil, audacious, Nazi-esque mandate of HATE calls for Arizona police to be more proactive in pursuing illegal immigrants, and also calls for the deportation of immigrants who can’t prove their residency. HOLY SHIT NAZI GERMANY UP IN THIS BITCH. Next thing you know Arizona will call for the formation of a Waffen-SS brigade who will go around ethnically cleansing Mexicans!

Anyway, this new law has caused an ungodly amount of controversy, with the liberal media at the forefront. Among the highlights of this are:

• The Mexican government is warning its people not to travel to Arizona. The greatest success for us so far.
• The United States Justice Department intends to sue the State of Arizona to stop the law from being enacted. Fuck that silly 10th Amendment!
• People are calling for the boycott of the Arizona Iced Tea company. No, seriously. THE COMPANY IS FROM FUCKING NEW YORK. And these are our country’s leaders doing this shit. Also, calling for a boycott of Arizona Green Tea is tantamount to treason in my book.
• Major League Baseball is being urged to move their All-Star game from Phoenix to elsewhere. A resounding cry of “Who gives a fuck about baseball?” could be heard emanating from 95% of the country.
• Shakira, some pop star bitch from Columbia, thinks the law is unfair to Hispanic people. She also goes on to talk about how she is undocumented here. Does anyone actually give a fuck about this bitch?

The biggest criticism of this law is that it encourages racial profiling. Um, yeah? Most of the illegal immigrants in this country aren’t white, not that skin color matters in this case. If you’re here illegally, you’re a criminal. If Canadians were sneaking across the border bringing gang violence to my country and leeching off of my tax dollars, I’d expect them to receive the same treatment as any other illegal alien: immediate deportation.

It takes a special class of idiots to actually question whether or not it’s ethical to deport illegal immigrants. How the fuck is this even an argument? Are you simians fucking kidding me? Only in America can soldiers patrolling the border serve jail time for firing on a drug runner who fired on them first. Only in America are soldiers not allowed to engage the Mexican commandos assisting drug runners sneaking across the border. WHAT THE FUCK DO WE HAVE A BORDER PATROL FOR THEN?! Isn’t a bunch of foreign soldiers crossing into another country with the intention to cause trouble in that country considered an act of war? If I was a soldier, I’d tell my commanding officers to suck a fucking dick and I’d blow every last one of those Mexican commandos to kingdom come with an RPG. Court martial me, I don’t care. If I crossed their border illegally, the Mexican military would have no qualms about firing on me. Maybe I should grab a semi-automatic rifle and sneak across the border into Mexico, then engage Mexican troops. Actually, that really sounds like fun.

I could understand if Arizona was giving orders to round up all Hispanic people and hold them in concentration camps or something, but come on. This is one case where racial profiling is a necessity. Let’s think for a moment. What ethnicity are most people illegally crossing the border from Mexico likely to be? Certainly not Hispanic? Leave the border unsecured, and soon you’ll have Islamic terrorists sneaking over too. Oh wait.

Seeing as Obama and friends are more concerned with creating new Democrats, I have a better proposal. We don’t want the violence from drug cartel-run Mexico spilling across our borders, and the Mexican authorites are too busy snorting yayo to stop them. Let’s form a giant army of American civilians armed with rifles and go clean up Mexico ourselves. Let’s purge every last one of those Los Zetas and La Raza fucks from the face of the Earth. Then let’s march right into Mexico City and burn it to the fucking ground, because as far as I’m concerned the Mexican government has already declared war on us by allowing their drug cartels to pollute my country. Few things could fill my heart with more pride than seeing Old Glory raised over the ruins of Tenochtitlan:

In fact, there’s only two other places that I’d be more proud to see the American flag flying in triumphant conquest over:

I could never hope to top Iwo Jima, and I’d rather see the United Nations reduced to rubble instead.

Don’t you nitwits see what’s going on here? Mexico is attempting to reconquer the territory they lost to us during the Mexican-American War. They even have a cute little term for it, “reconquista“. The sad part about this? Many Americans seem to think that this shit is justified because we “stole” it from them. Great logic. So you won’t mind then if I bulldoze your house so nature can reclaim it, right? After all, the plants and trees were there first, until humans came along and uprooted them to build on the land. Anyone who believes that a foreign invasion of their own country is justified is a fucking asshole and should be taken behind the chemical sheds and shot. Seriously, how much more of a bleeding heart can you be to condone the conquest of your own country by another?

Arizona, you have earned my respect. Your next piece of legislation should authorize the use of deadly force on people sneaking across the border.

My investigation of the evil Freemasons

Angry_Jerk April 14, 2009 0Comments

Sit back and listen as I tell a tale of bravery and patriotism.

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Prison Planet, get the fuck off the internet

Angry_Jerk February 19, 2009 0Comments

When you say that the Australian wild fires are part of a plot to install a one-world government, it takes away credibility from everything else you have to say. Read More