A is for:
AngryJerk.net. What the fuck did you expect it to be?
B is for:
Back to the Future, my favorite movie evar.
C is for:
Censorship, which can suck my cock. Hey, cock also begins with “C”. What a coincidence! Oh shit, coincidence begins with “C” too! That’s just fucking crazy. Oh fuck man, crazy also begins with- okay, I’ll stop now.
D is for:
Dr. Pepper, the nectar of the gods. Also, Dystheism, and the Dead Kennedys (before East Bay Ray sold them out like the faggot he is).
E is for:
Evil Genius, Pat Benatar’s most underrated song.
F is for:
Faggot, which describes everyone except me.
G is for:
Grace Slick, my inspiration for time travel.
H is for:
Haters, who are always going to hate.
I is for:
Internet, where I can use racial slurs without fear of reprisal, and Iron Maiden, the most awesome metal band ever.
J is for:
Johannson, as in Scarlett Johannson, who I would bang the fucking shit out of.
K is for:
Katy Perry, who I would also bang the fucking shit out of.
L is for:
Laugh, something you will not do once when reading my website. It also stands for Lost, which was an awesome series.
M is for:
Mature porn, which I download in copious amounts.
N is for:
NewEgg.com, an insatiable and addictive money hole. Also, Nightwish.
O is for:
Orson Welles, the greastest prankster to ever live. Also, the Offspring.
P is for:
Phoenix. Both the mythological bird that resurrects from its own ashes, and the Flash series that I’ve neglected.
Q is for:
Quack quack quack!
…
Come on, haven’t you seen “The Mighty Ducks”?
…
No?
…
Well fuck you then asshole.
R is for:
Rantlister.com, which is an awesome website and needs more forum members.
S is for:
Señor Juan, who has returned from his trip to Mexico and may or may not be working on an article for this site. S is also for sorry, as in “Sorry, but I’m not going to give you the attention you seek by dropping your name on my website.”
T is for:
Tarja fuckin’ Turunen, my soulmate and the queen of this website. And don’t forget about “Trolled!”, like I have for the past year or so. Speaking of years, T also stands for time travel.
U is for:
Uhhhh…
V is for:
V, the awesome science fiction series from the 1980’s. I guess I’ll also include the remake in this too, since it’s okay.
W is for:
Wumbo.
X is for:
Absolutely-fucking-nothing. Why is X even a fucking letter? Go to hell, X.
Y is for:
Yukon Jack, the official alcoholic beverage of this website.
Z is for:
Fuck this, I don’t feel like thinking of something for Z. This shit’s going up, and I’m going to bed.