Angry_Jerk 
A disturbing new trend has emerged in America: Everywhere I go, I’m surrounded by skanky-looking women with the same ugly bland tattoos. The butterfly on the neck. The stars behind the ears. The random shapes jutting out from above the asscrack. The Asian characters that mean generic things like “Love” or “Peace”. What the … Read more
If you took clumps of shit, rolled them into balls, and dyed them red, you’d have tomatoes. Tomatoes ruin anything they touch with their acidic bullshit, from sandwiches to salads. Their juicy bitter flavor overpowers pretty much anything. This is what any sandwich with a slice of tomato on it tastes like: All I can … Read more
From: Maddox <[email protected]> Subject: My Nigga Hey Angry Jerk, it’s your biggest fan again. Just wanted to let you know that I’ve begun work on that AngryJerk.net fanpage I was telling you about. I’m more than honored that you have bestowed upon me the prestigious title of “Knight Commander of the Empire of the Phoenix … Read more
For a kid’s movie, I’ve always liked Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius. How can you not? The plot takes every kid’s greatest fantasy of not having parental supervision, and crushes it by telling the kids that they’re helpless without their parents and should stop being unappreciative little brats. And if that’s not enough, just watch the … Read more
In what I hope will become a yearly tradition here at AngryJerk.net, here’s my take on some of the largest events of 2011, some of which I’ve already commented on but go fuck yourself if you don’t like it.
