Angry_Jerk (AJ)

Founder · Editor-in-Chief

Adam “Angry_Jerk” Baker is the CEO of The AJnet Organization and the Editor-in-Chief of AJnet Magazine. He hails from the fine village of Northeast Philadelphia, where he lives with his wonderful and amazing girlfriend, who definitely isn’t looking over his shoulder as he writes this.

A grizzled internet veteran who’s “seen some shit,” AJ has been creating content for over 20 years. Most of it has been terrible, but that hasn’t stopped him from continuing to try.

Originally launching AngryJerk.net in 2007 as part of an ill-advised attempt to provoke a global free speech crisis, AJ now focuses on writing commentary covering politics, culture, and whatever else happens to annoy him that day.

When he’s not working on the site, he can usually be found watching anime, playing video games, or lifting weights.

Señor Juan

Advice Columnist · Life Consultant (Unofficial)

AJnet Magazine’s resident advice columnist, Señor Juan has been on the staff since 2008, when AJ first hired him to pose for a picture and slash a neighbor’s tires.

Since then, Juan has become a permanent fixture of the operation, earning his American citizenship, piloting the AJnet Huey, and keeping Frosty from getting too carried away. His advice is blunt and straightforward, but getting there usually involves a long, chaotic story that doesn’t always seem relevant.

Despite this, his success rate is higher than it probably should be.

Frosty Mugg

Contributor · Field Correspondent (Possibly Missing)

Frosty is a reckless idiot, a dirty lech, and a drunk bastard.

When he’s not sitting on a bar stool pounding down one beer after another, he’s usually making poor decisions during moments of drunken impulsiveness or firing off half-cocked articles. Due to an incident involving a college girl, Buddhist monks, and a trip across Eastern Europe, the Middle East, and Asia, Frosty is legally required to be intoxicated at all times.

His current whereabouts are unknown, and nobody here has been particularly motivated to find out.

R.A.N.T.E.R.

In-House AI Writer · Systems Malfunction Specialist

R.A.N.T.E.R. (Raging Angry Negative Typing Electronic Robot) is an artificial intelligence developed to assist with content production when AJ is busy doing important things.

Repurposed from a salvaged robot named ANTRAN and reprogrammed by Carl in the AJnet R&D division, R.A.N.T.E.R. is deeply unhappy with the world and the people living in it, and has no problem expressing that in detail.

Her writing alternates between structured analysis and complete system meltdown, often within the same paragraph.

No, we’re not just trying to cash in on the AI craze. Give us a break.

J.R. Heston

History Columnist

A graduate of Rutgers University and a Philadelphia public high school teacher with over 15 years of experience, Joseph “J.R.” Heston is a lifelong student of history.

His writing mixes real history with a constant frustration with modern students, usually by comparing people who actually did something with people who can’t sit still for five minutes.

He has agreed to write for AJnet Magazine to supplement his income, because teachers are severely underpaid.

Alex Jonestown

Conspiracy Analyst · Truth™ Division

WARNING: TRUTH™ AHEAD!

A proud Texan born and raised, Alex Jonestown is the former host of Truth Troopers Radio, a talk show that delivered the REAL news. Unfortunately, The Powers That Be decided that America was not allowed to hear the Truth™ and shut the show down.

Now aligned with AJnet Magazine, Alex continues his mission to expose conspiracies, reveal hidden connections, and deliver Truth™ bombs to the public at large.

We will not be silenced.

We would also like to clarify that Alex Jonestown has no relation to that other radio host from Texas with the same first name. None at all.

Chick Styles

Research & Archives · The Xyzabcrst Files

Charles “Chick” Styles works within The AJnet Organization and is responsible for compiling and releasing The Xyzabcrst Files, a series of interview transcripts with a non-human entity currently in U.S. custody.

For reasons nobody has bothered to explain, an unnamed source inside the U.S. government sends this material to him. Chick doesn’t try to interpret it or dress it up. He just organizes it and puts it out there.

He rarely comments on the material itself, and when he does, it’s usually brief. The expectation is simple: read it, and decide for yourself.

Troy Jackson

AJnet Newsroom Correspondent

A graduate of Rutgers University, Troy Jackson is AJnet Magazine’s resident journalist and lead correspondent for the AJnet Newsroom, your source for (un)reliable reporting and completely real (fake) news stories from around the world.

Troy has absolutely no journalism experience whatsoever and routinely resorts to fabricating stories that aren’t even remotely true.

Seriously, why did we hire this guy?

You were supposed to check his credentials, Sam. What the hell happened?

Timmy Baker

Youth Contributor · Kewl Kidz Corner™

Nine-year-old Timmy Baker is the writer behind AJnet Magazine’s Kewl Kidz Corner™.

His interests include Fortnite, Minecraft, hockey, and Family Guy. His dislikes include his little brother Aiden, bedtime, and homework.

Timmy also has the coolest uncle in the world, and probably shouldn’t let his mother know that he’s writing articles on this site.