I got LASIK surgery

I got LASIK surgery back in June. This is my experience.

I wanted to write about this a while ago, but it’s been a very busy summer, so here I am in August writing an article set to publish in October about a surgery that I got in June.

I found out that I was nearsighted when I failed a vision test in my sophomore year of high school. Failing tests was nothing new to me (I wasn’t dumb, just apathetic with an emphasis on the “pathetic” part), but it kind of sucked trying to look at the blackboard (are we still allowed to call it that in 2025?) and seeing a giant incomprehensible blur. Mom took me to the eye doctor, and I was given a pair of Converse-brand eye glasses.

Being able to actually see was a total game changer. Now that I could read the blackboard, I went right back to ignoring the teacher and not doing any of my work, but now I had the added advantage of being able to see exactly who I was trying to throw a paper ball at, and who I accidentally hit because my aim still kind of sucked.

As I got older and started working in food service, I realized that glasses suck. They fog up, and God forbid grease or something splashes onto them. It was like looking out of a perpetually dirty window, and my OCD went into overdrive trying to keep my vision smudge-free. Even today with sunglasses I go crazy if there’s the slightest speck on the lens.

I first looked into LASIK surgery when I was in my early 20’s, but at the time it was still pretty expensive. I think they wanted over $5,000 per eye? A little too expensive for someone working in a supermarket deli making about $10 an hour. I went with the next best option, contact lenses. They averaged about $300-500 for a year’s supply (ShopRite had bad insurance) but it was worth it to not have to worry about keeping my glasses clean, and to be able to wear sunglasses.

After about 15 years of wearing contact lenses, I started to hate those too. I swear, it felt like every year the quality of the lenses just kept getting worse. It got to the point where my eyes were getting irritated every day because of the lenses. It was like a crapshoot every year. How much was the price going to go up? How much was the quality going to go down? I just couldn’t do it anymore.

This past May, I finally caved and asked my eye doctor about getting LASIK. The procedure was surprisingly cheap compared to before, coming in at $2,500 per eye, about half of what it cost 15 years ago. It also came with some added benefits, like free followup appointments for a year, and a free touch-up 10 years from now if I needed it.

I was sent to Kremer Eye Center in nearby Cherry Hill. After an evaluation (which was just a regular eye exam with some extra questions thrown in), I was told to stop wearing my contacts for two weeks before the surgery. Which meant digging out my glasses. I hadn’t bought new glasses in ten years, so the prescription was definitely old. Because the sun is a motherfucker around these parts, I had to buy the old man sunglasses that go over your regular glasses.

They also explained the procedure to me. The surgeon was going to cut flaps into my cornea (I would be numbed during this, obviously), then use the laser to reshape it. There was “no guarantee” of 20/20 vision, but the majority of patients usually ended up with 20/20 or better. I’d then have to be driven home by my girlfriend, and take a five hour “nap”. It was recommended that I spend the rest of the day after that nap keeping my eyes closed. I would be good to drive to my follow-up appointment scheduled for the following morning. I’d also have to wear goggles to sleep for a week and use single-vial lubricating drops every two hours for the next month. It was also recommended that I wait a few days before going back to running and weight lifting.

The day before the surgery, I had to go in for a pre-op exam, which was basically just the same stuff from the evaluation. I guess they wanted to make sure I hadn’t been wearing my contacts for the last two weeks.

For those wondering, I asked about the no contacts thing, and the explanation they gave me was that regularly using contact lenses swells your eyeballs up enough to potentially interfere with the surgery.

The day of the surgery, I was given one last eye exam. After paying the $5,000 with a bank check, I was given a surgical gown and sent to a pre-op room. They gave me a very small dose of Xanax (I’m skeptical that it had any effect on me), and I took a seat next to some Korean guy who was getting PRK surgery (which is kind of like LASIK). He was actually good company, we talked about video games (yes, he played StarCraft). He went in for his surgery and was replaced by some big white dude who didn’t even so much as give a nod in my direction and awkwardly buried his nose in his phone.

The actual procedure itself wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be, but it sure as hell wasn’t comfortable either. They kept my eyes open with some kind of suction thing, even though they numbed my eyeballs beforehand it was still uncomfortable. I didn’t feel them make the incision on my cornea, nor did I feel the laser when they did the actual LASIK part. The whole thing took about a couple of minutes per eye.

Once that was done, I was walked out to my girlfriend and driven home, where I took NyQuil and slept for four or five hours. I was told to wear the goggles the rest of the day, but the left lense kept fogging up (when I first woke up it caused me to think the surgery was botched before I had the sense to take off the goggles) so I said fuck it and took them off to watch TV, which was also technically against the doctor’s orders but fuck just laying around doing nothing. There was a marked improvement in my vision, albeit with a lot of light sensitivity.

When I woke up the next morning, the difference was crystal clear, pun totally intended.

Not only could I see, I could see way better than I could with contacts or glasses. My follow-up appointment confirmed that I now had 20/15 vision. I don’t remember what it was before, but without glasses or contacts any sign more than 10-15 feet away was a giant blur of things that may or may not have been letters. I could make out objects, but not what those objects were. 20/15 vision blew that out of the water.

All in all, LASIK was $5,000 well spent. If you’re in your 20’s, 30’s, or even 40’s I’d recommend getting it if you can afford it. It doesn’t stop your eyes from aging naturally, so eventually you’ll probably need reading glasses for close-up stuff. But being able to see clearly without the aid of glasses that smudge up or contact lenses that irritate my eyes is fucking great, and I’m glad I got the procedure.

Angry_Jerk

Adam “The Angry Jerk” Baker is the CEO of The AJnet Organization and Editor-in-Chief of AJnet Magazine. A grizzled internet veteran of over 20 years, he writes about politics, culture, and whatever else manages to annoy him that day.

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