AJnet Archives: I Quit My Job (Pulled Article)

This month from the AJnet Archives: A removed article about quitting my job!

Given that the last two AJnet Archives articles were edgelord racist shit, I figure this month we’ll rein things in a bit. This time around, I’ve got an article about quitting an old job at a deli/restaurant.

I’m really not sure why I pulled this one. Most of the articles I pulled had racism or other childish bullshit strewn in, but this one seems kind of tame. There’s nothing racist, nothing identifying, or even anything really that bad in here. Seriously, I’m stumped on this one.

If you’re one of the few losers- er, fans, who’ve been reading this site since it began in 2007, you might remember my very early articles talking about my time at a Jewish deli. In fact, the very first article I published on here was about being a busboy there. I also wrote several other articles about the place, including “Working with idiots” and a couple others that I can’t be assed to remember right now.

I spent a good two years working at Moe’s Deli. You’ve probably heard the phrase “controlled chaos”. That doesn’t describe Moe’s in the least. That place was a disjointed mess. The owner once tried to get me to attempt to return three week old parsley to our produce supplier. Me and Mr. Capriotti had a good laugh about that one.

The operation was split into several parts. In the front of the house we had a deli, as well as a sit-down restaurant with waitresses. The grill line and sandwich station were also in the front, visible to customers. In the back of the house was the kitchen, where the prep work, catering, and dishwashing was done. I worked mostly in the kitchen, but I was crosstrained in the other areas (hence the busboy article), so I would often find myself wearing multiple hats every day.

I preferred working in the kitchen though, since the people I worked with were fun. I was the only white guy who worked in the kitchen, the others were black dudes. One young white boy surrounded by five black guys sounds kind of scary and definitely gay as fuck, but there was absolutely no racial tension on either side. We were cool to the point where we could throw racist jokes at each other, and I even had an n-word pass. I really enjoyed working with those guys, it gave me an insight into black culture that I don’t think most white people have.

I could probably write a few articles about all my experiences and the various people that I met during my stint there, but I can barely keep up with the site these days as it is, so we don’t need yet another recurring feature.

This article, originally published on 4/23/08, was an account of how I left Moe’s Deli, the aftermath of me leaving, and the grand plans I had to start a lunch truck after.

Last Thursday, I quit my job. Me, Sexy Manager Lady, and the two waitesses decided we’d had enough of our psychotic boss, and walked right out the back door. Tom is a fucking traitor, and stayed so he could steal Sexy Manager Lady’s position. Oh well. It’s not like I trusted him in the first place or anything. Once a white trash Kensington piece of shit, always a white trash Kensington piece of shit. People don’t abandon their nature, they only supress it until the right time.

So what caused us to walk out? Our boss is psychotic and abusive. He constantly makes poor decisions, contradicts himself, and verbally abuses employees. In the two years I spent there, I saw no less than 50 people come and go. On top of it all, I was grossly and absurdly underpaid. He paid me $8 an hour to pretty much run his kitchen, and do catering. $8 a fucking hour. I could easily go anywhere in this city, and make at least $11 with what I know. But I’m beyond working under people.

Sexy Manager Lady and I are close friends. We have decided to go into business for ourselves. Our first plan is to open up a lunch truck, and make a profit off of that. After making a profit from that (which won’t be hard considering our planned locations), we plan to open up our own restaurant/deli/catering place. Hells yeah! You’re looking at what will soon be one of Philly’s youngest and most successfull entrepreneurs. Don’t worry. This site will still be updated. But it’ll be like Maddox, with one shitty update every 4 or 5 months. Only difference is, I have an excuse and he doesn’t. Fucking sellout. “I’m too busy to update!” You’re unemployed. How are you too busy to update when you have no job? This is the second update since I quit on the 17th.

I heard that when my boss found out most of his staff walked out on him, he was so pissed, he could never speak l33t speak again. Now, he speaks like a normal human being. And to make matters worse, his Doom account got hacked that same day. Now, the most online gaming he does is play Yahoo! Pool, where he gets the shit flamed out of him by lame ass 13 year olds. He’s incapable of handing out pwnage. Instead of beating off to lesbian porn and blasting Iron Maiden like he used to, he now watches episodes of Tech TV and listens to Metallica. He’s become a total online pussy. Metallica blows.

Anyway, I’m out. Peace and chicken grease.

P.S.- I CAN FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT, OH LORD. I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR ALL MY LIFE.

The only good song by Phil Collins.

P.P.S.- Hey Sexy Manager Lady 😉

P.P.S.S.- LOL I SED PEEPEE.

Boy (or girl, we don’t discriminate here at AJnet) this aged well, huh?

While the reasons we walked out were true, I didn’t give the full story of how we left.

The gist of it is, Hillary Clinton was campaigning against Obama during the 2008 presidential election, and was making a scheduled stop that night at the diner across the street from us. Normally we closed at 5 PM, but the owner wanted us to remain open until after the whole thing, which would have ended well past 9 PM. We’d have probably been there until 10 or 11 at night, then had to be right back in the next morning at 5 AM. We had been there since 5 that morning, none of us felt like working a 16 hour shift. The owner didn’t want to hear it, he insisted we suck it up and pull a 16 hour shift. We responded by locking the front doors and walking out through the back. I’m pretty sure I even flipped off the camera on my way out. We then went to the bar next door and got shitfaced until Hillary gave her speech around 8 PM, which is when we went into the apartment above the bar and watched from the window. My night ended with me drunkenly screaming verbal abuse at Hillary, and some even drunker Vietnam veteran threatening to throw me out the window if I didn’t shut the fuck up. I wasn’t feeling particularly tough that night, so I complied.

The entire thing was a build up of verbal abuse and the owner’s insanity, and it reached its peak after being expected to work a 16 hour shift.

In case you couldn’t figure out from my oh-so-subtle allusion, I was banging Sexy Manager Lady. A few months after this article, she left her husband for me and we went to the mountains for a couple of years. That’s another shitstorm for another time.

“I could easily go anywhere in this city and make at least $11 with what I know.” When you’re young, living at home, have no bills or expenses, and only making $8 an hour, $11 an hour really seems like a lot of money. If only I’d have known where my future was going to take me. I really do miss those simpler times.

I’m really glad that I never went through with that lunch truck and restaurant. I’d have probably been up to my eyeballs in debt within a year. Or addicted to drugs.

Man, I never missed a chance to take a potshot at Maddox. Unfortunately, I had no idea that Maddox had stopped updating his website because he was busy working on his second book, his eventual podcast with Dick Masterson, and a bunch of other projects that never saw the light of day.

Whenever I wrote articles about Moe’s Deli, I had a couple running jokes. First, I always made a point to call my boss “Sir” exactly three times in each article. No, I’m not sure what the hell I was thinking. Second, I decided that my boss would speak exclusively in l33t speak. He also played Doom, watched copious amounts of lesbian porn, and listened to heavy metal. This had some root in reality. One time I went up to his office and he was actually playing Doom on his computer. Another time I caught him looking at lesbian porn. He was also a very big metal fan, particularly Black Sabbath. Why did he speak l33t speak? Because I was usually drunk and high when I was writing most of this crap, and this is the kind of bullshit that sounds funny when you mix an eighth of weed with a fifth of vodka.

The potshot at Metallica had less to do with me disliking the band and more to do with me disliking Lars Ulrich. I’ve since eased up on Metallica, but Lars can still suck a fat dick. I’ll never forgive you for that Napster shit, you Dutch cunt.

I miss Yahoo! Pool. And Candystand. And Jippii. Does anyone else still remember Candystand or Jippii? I was pretty much unbeatable at Candystand billiards, and their mini golf courses were baller af. And I couldn’t tell you how many lunch periods I spent during high school trolling people in Jippii’s chatrooms. Good times.

I’m not sure what was up with the TechTV reference or what I might have still had against them four years after they shut down. I never even really watched it, and I don’t remember what they did to draw my ire here.

I guess we’ll close this one out with a “Where are they now?”.

Moe’s Deli got sold to Asians a few years after we quit, and the owner retired to Florida like any good Jew. The place had already been losing money and the owner wasn’t really interested in keeping it going. It’s basically a glorified beer store now with a small deli. I don’t think I’d trust any of the lunchmeat now though.

I have no idea what happened to the two waitresses, I’m assuming they’re still waitressing somewhere and still popping pills. I haven’t seen Tom the traitor in about 15 years, but he ended up having kids with one of the other waitresses who worked at Moe’s. I hope the kids are doing okay.

You know what, for next month’s AJnet Archives article I’ll take a look and see if I have any other removed articles about my time at Moe’s. If I do, maybe we’ll go with that for next month. Otherwise, I’ll just go with something else.

Angry_Jerk

Adam “The Angry Jerk” Baker is the CEO of The AJnet Organization and Editor-in-Chief of AJnet Magazine. A grizzled internet veteran of over 20 years, he writes about politics, culture, and whatever else manages to annoy him that day.

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