This month from the bowels of the AJnet Archives: An article praising Hitler and the Columbine shooters!
Hoo boy, this one’s straight out of the “Now That’s What I Call Edgy!” files.
By now most of you already know that the sole purpose of AngryJerk.net’s early years was to infuriate, offend, and just be as big of an overall scumbag as possible. In my efforts to provoke the United Nations to step in and censor me, virtually everything except child porn and gore was on the table. Hell, even gore wasn’t entirely off-limits. One year, I uploaded a video of people jumping from the burning World Trade Center on 9/11 while “It’s Raining Men” played in the background. Even some of my fellow ranters called it too much and told me to knock it off. They weren’t wrong.
Nine out of ten times though, I went with racism, since it was low-hanging fruit and I found racist jokes funny (I still do).
Here’s the thing. As a white boy growing up in Philly and going to public school, I had more than my fair share of trouble with black people. I got jumped quite a bit, usually unprovoked. Black-on-white racism exists, it’s always existed, and I’m not going to make white guilt excuses for it. I’m also not going to treat all black people like criminals. I had plenty of black friends, and I’ve also been jumped by white people.
But when you’ve been jumped by black people multiple times simply because you were white and happened to be walking by a group of them, it builds a bit of distrust and resentment. I don’t hate black people as a whole, I don’t assume the worst of every black person I meet, and I find actual racism to be disgusting, but if I’m walking down the street and I see a group of black people coming my direction, my guard immediately goes up and I’ll adjust my route to avoid them.
I also used to use the word “nigger” quite a bit. Like, a lot. Especially when I was drunk. After a fifth of vodka, all my straight white friends were “faggot-ass niggers”. But when it came to using the word about black people, I always saw it as more referring to the bad ones. Martin Luther King Jr. was a black person, while the random black kid who sucker punched me on the street out of nowhere was a nigger. I feel like most white or Hispanic people have used the word at least more than once, even if they don’t want to admit to it. If they haven’t, it’s probably because they didn’t actually grow up around blacks.
When I wasn’t making racist comments about blacks, I was going after the Jews. Unlike my experiences with black people, Jews really didn’t do anything to provoke my ire. I worked at a Jewish deli for a couple of years, but any gripes I had about the owner could just as easily be applied to any boss, Jewish or not. Hell, several of my close friends were Jewish.
I think the reason I went after blacks and Jews as hard as I did was because, at the time, they were the two most protected groups. It felt like you couldn’t so much as say “Boo!” to a black or Jewish person without it being considered a hate crime. We were constantly being told that we weren’t allowed to say anything bad about blacks and Jews, so in my endeavor to defy social conventions and offend everyone I went out of my way to target the two groups as much as possible.
The article I’m about to share, “I Admire Hitler and Agree With the Columbine Shooters”, was yet another article that was written completely out of spite towards someone who took issue with my website. It contains multiple racial slurs, it’s rampant with antisemitism, and it glorifies ethnic genocide and school shootings. It in no way represents who I am as a person now. This is the closest thing to an apology you’re going to get from me regarding it. So if those sorts of things offend you, I’d advise you to stop reading here.
I’ve spent years trying to bury this stuff, but I’ve decided that, instead of trying to cover up the past and act like it never happened, I’m going to not only acknowledge it, but hold myself accountable for it too. I’ve called out so much bullshit over the years, and now it’s time to call out my own bullshit.
This is “I Admire Hitler and Agree With the Columbine Shooters”, originally published on April 20, 2008.
Most people think 4/20’s all about weed. Fuck those people. Fuck them right in the ear with the biggest blackest nigger dick. 4/20 is all about Hitler and Columbine.
I don’t get why people always make Hitler out to be the worst person ever. If anything, he was one of the greatest leaders of the 20th century. I’d rather have Hitler as my country’s leader than Bush, Clinton, or Obama. The only bad thing about him was that he rounded up a bunch of Jews and gassed them. Don’t get me wrong. I love genocide. In fact, I think we need to wipe out the Japanese, the French, and the Mexicans. But Hitler made the biggest mistake by trying to kill the Jews. Because he did that, Jews can play the discrimination card whenever you say something bad about them. Leader of Iran dislikes Israel? Let’s call him the next Hitler and make shit up about what he supposedly said. Congressman points out absurd amount of money received from pro-Israeli lobby, and their massive influence on US politics? Call him a racist and say he’s stereotyping.
The fact is, Hitler was a great leader who made a stupid mistake. Why waste the Waffen-SS on rounding up undesirables when you could be using them to take Britain? In fact, Hitler’s original plan was to take Britain, then use the Royal Navy to ship all the Jews to Madagascar, which really isn’t that evil if you think about it. Mass-relocating the Jews to someone else’s land so they can claim it as their own. It’s not like it wouldn’t have happened anyway. Hitler’s charisma and ability to speak was second to none.
People claimed the Columbine shooters were Nazis. That’s bullshit. In fact, Dylan Klebold was Jewish. Yeah, they drew swastikas and complained about niggers. So do I. Does that mean I’m going to go postal and kill a bunch of people?
Truthfully, those people brought it on themselves. People say “Eric and Dylan were pussies who couldn’t cope with bullying” or “They should have kicked the bullies’ asses.” Yeah, except it’s two scrawny nerds against like 20 meathead jocks. Try going to school and having four faggot ass football players hassle you in the showers because you’re smaller than them or they don’t like your haircut. Or try being stuffed into a locker while the teachers stand there and laugh at it. Schools out in Bumblefuck are big on football, and let the jocks get away with all kinds of shit simply because they don’t want them kicked off the team. Shit, I would have shot some motherfuckers too if I had to deal with that kind of stupidity.
You pick on these kids horrendously, then cry because they got sick of it and decided to kill some of the morons giving them a hard time? The real victims were the shooters, not the people they shot.
However, people like Seung-Hui Cho and that guy in Illinois are fucking pussies. Cho waited until college to kill people for bullying that occurred in high school. What kind of shit is that? So because you were picked on in high school, you’re going to kill some random people in college who had nothing to do with it? What a crock of shit. When school shooters look like this:
You know America is going downhill. Seriously. A fucking gook beat the record for most deaths in a school shooting? Foreigners outdo Americans AGAIN. This is bullshit, people. We need to rise up and show the world we’re the most violent people on the Earth, and no foreigner is going to change that.
If Eric and Dylan saw the kind of people who would follow their example, I think they’d have reconsidered their actions. Either that or tracked down and killed them for being pussies. Look at Robert Hawkins. He doesn’t look like the kind of person who would kill 8 people. He looks like the kind of person you’d see at a Green Day concert trying to overdose on Nyquil or something. And the other guy has a goddamn lazy eye. A fucking lazy eye. Even our killers are becoming pussies.
This country is failing. Seriously. Anyway, happy 4/20!
To quote KMFDM, “It ain’t cool to shoot up your school!”
It’s crazy, because almost 20 years later, I think Virginia Tech still holds the record for the deadliest school shooting in American history. Seung-Hui “The Blazin’ Azn” Cho’s kill count of 32 has yet to be beaten, which is astounding considering the drastic increase we’ve seen in school shootings over the last decade or so. I’m not a mass-murdering lunatic, and I’ve barely even fired any guns, but I feel like it wouldn’t be terribly hard to get at least 50 people, especially with how crowded many schools are.
Seriously though, please don’t take this as incitement to go shoot up your school. If you’re considering committing a mass-shooting, I advise you to read this article first.
When praising Hitler, I conveniently left out the part about him rising to power mainly because of the other people in his party using him as a puppet, like Joseph Goebbels. Hitler’s rise to power was more complex than “He was a great speaker”, and from what I’ve read he certainly wasn’t that great of a leader (that whole Holocaust thing aside). World War 2 history is more up Heston’s alley, not mine. I’m pretty confident though that I didn’t exactly paint a historically accurate picture of Hitler when glorifying him.
There’s a lot of debate about just how much the Columbine shooters were actually bullied. I’m not going to break everything down that I’ve learned over the years (here’s a Reddit post that gives you an idea of some of the bullying they experienced), and I’m also not going to downplay the stuff they went through, but from what I’ve seen they weren’t the least popular kids in the school. They had a pretty sizeable group of friends, which is more than many victims of bullying can say. I think them shooting up their school had less to do with bullying and more to do with them both being mentally ill (reading excerpts from Harris’s journal makes this all the more obvious). The people they shot weren’t even really the ones who bullied them. While bullying sucks and I sympathize with them having to go through so much bullshit, the reality is that Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were a couple of crazy sadcunts who committed a needless act of violence against innocent people. Also, their Doom WADs fucking sucked.
I’m glad I kind of sort of grew up and moved away from writing this edgelord bullshit. I’m not going to pretend that black people don’t make up the majority of violent crimes in America, or that the Israeli lobby doesn’t have an absurd amount of control over the American government, but that doesn’t mean it’s right to blindly hate all black and Jewish people. At the end of the day, I think the average person of any race or ethnicity just wants to live their life and not deal with bullshit.
Next month we’ll probably lighten things up a bit and do something that’s not too controversial. I’m not sure what it’ll be yet, but stay tuned!
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