Banksy is actually a genius, and I haven’t done anything with my life. New-ish hatemail.
Back in March of 2023, I published an article about the famed street artist Banksy, titled “Banksy is pretentious and overrated“. The article was a rant about how Banksy’s work isn’t really that clever or unique, and how he doesn’t deserve anywhere near as much praise as he gets.
Imagine my surprise when this quickly became one of my most viewed articles. Like, top three most viewed.
While it’s still in my top ten most viewed articles, it’s not as high up as it once was. I think my current top three most viewed articles are my rant about Letterkenny, my battle with Copytrack, and my article about Bob’s Burgers not being funny anymore. Other top articles as of this writing include my Beastie Boys rant, my Google rant, and for some reason Frosty’s stupid beer poem.
I try not to spend too much time worrying about the site’s numbers, and to be honest they’re probably not all that accurate anyway, since many people block tracking cookies these days. We’re just doing this for fun instead of doing our actual jobs, which are far more boring. How can your company recruit better candidates? Pay them more. Oh, higher employee pay isn’t in your budget? Alright, let’s try reevaluating your company culture. You say your company culture is fine? Hmm, well then, what do your incentives look like? You’re already happy with those and don’t want to change them? Ah, okay, obviously the problem isn’t your company, it’s just that nobody wants to work. Why did you even come to us for help if you’re so confident in your strategies? You can afford to hire a third party consulting firm but you can’t find any money in your budget to offer higher pay to attract more qualified candidates?
See how boring that was? We’d rather be writing for AJnet Magazine instead of doing that shit every day, but AJnet Magazine doesn’t pay bills, and for some stupid reason we keep expanding this business. We’re relocating operations to New Jersey soon, and Sam wants to break into marketing come 2026, so it’s only going to get worse. I’m genuinely not even sure how much longer we’ll be able to keep up with updating this site.
First world problems, right?
Anyway, instead of arguing with some lamebrain mid-sized tech company about why they can’t hire good talent because they’re a bunch of cheap bastards, I’m going to argue with some nitwit who took issue with my Banksy article.
Matt sent me this hatemail sometime back in February, and I actually meant to publish it sooner, but I sat on it too long and forgot about it until last night when I was going through my inbox and rediscovered it. In his email, Matt attacks me for my criticism of Banksy, while lauding the “artist” for his messages and philanthropy.
Re: Your Banksy article
I read your article about Banksy being overrated, and I just want to know what exactly you’ve done in your life?
Banksy’s art is loved by people all over the world and sells for millions. Your cumrag blog that you call a magazine probably gets three readers a year and isn’t even worth £1. That “pretentious douche bag” is worth more than you’ll ever be.
If I’m being honest, your entire post reeks of jealousy. You sound bitter and upset because people love Banksy and nobody loves you. You say that Banksy’s political commentary is generic, but I don’t see you saying anything original. New Year’s resolutions are stupid and pointless? Racist jokes about Mexicans? Maybe you should try doing something original instead of being an angry jerk on the internet. Banksy has raised £30 million for charity. How much has your boring and unfunny blog raised for charity?
Banksy’s art work calls attention to injustice in the world. Your shitty blog calls attention to how sad and pathetic you are. You’re not clever, you’re not funny, you’re just a jealous asshole who wishes he had even a piece of Banksy’s talent.
Matt H.
What are you dude, Banksy’s boyfriend or some shit? I’m not even sure how you managed to write all that while you were jerking him off so hard.
According to you, I can’t criticize Banksy or his work because I haven’t accomplished as much as him? I guess you’ve never criticized a movie or TV show before. Or a politician or any public figure for that matter. Sure, I haven’t accomplished as much as Banksy has, but I guarantee that I’ve accomplished a lot more in the last two years than you have in your entire life, Matt. By your own logic, you’re not allowed to criticize me or the site. Your logic is fucking retarded and so are you.
Just because Banksy is “loved by millions” doesn’t mean he’s actually good. Hitler was (and still is) “loved by millions”, does that make him good too? Yeah, didn’t think so. You should really give up on the whole logic thing, it’s just not for you, buddy.
There is absolutely nothing unique or special about Banksy’s political commentary. Most of it can be summed up as “War is bad and capitalism sucks!” As I said before, the way he plays off his environment is pretty cool sometimes, but he’s still not doing anything that hasn’t been done by other stencil artists before him. His anti-capitalism message is completely irrelevant when he’s raking in millions a year on his work.
You’re right, nothing on this site is really unique or original either. The difference is, I’ve never pretended that it was. It’s a glorified blog full of half-cocked rants and unfunny jokes. I’ve got a staff writer who’s so drunk that he barely knows what planet he’s on half the time (side note: Has anyone seen Frosty? I haven’t heard anything from him in weeks). Another guy is writing half-assed fake news stories. We even have a staff writer who thinks Santa Claus is real and is actually the devil. None of us take this shit seriously.
Meanwhile Banksy clearly takes his work seriously enough that he maintains the whole “anonymous vandal” image, despite the fact that he’s now a multimillionaire and most people who bother to do a moment of research can figure out that he’s Robin Gunningham. You know, the guy whose wife manages Banksy’s brand and money. The guy who used to go by the street name “Robin Banks” (an oh-so-clever play on “robbing banks”), and later shortened it to “Banksy”. Banksy’s identity is an open secret at this point, and nobody wants to be the asshole who devalues millions of dollars worth of crappy art by publicly blowing his anonymity. Most modern art sales are just covers for drug deals anyway (makes you wonder what Banksy is really up to), but that’s another point for another time.
The only reason anyone still gives two fucks about Banksy is because of his “man of mystery” gimmick. His pop-up stencils and displays aren’t really that impressive, but because everybody continues to perpetuate the gimmick of “anonymous rebel taking a stand against capitalism”, people lap up his bland and generic commentary like he’s some kind of folk hero. At best he’s a Starbucks revolutionary, reaping the full rewards of the exact same system he’s built his success from criticizing. His artwork might as well say “Posted from my iPhone 16 from the Starbucks wifi”. He’s not a hero, he’s a hypocrite.
Sure, he’s raised millions for charity. That means precisely dick. Donating exuberant amounts of money to charity doesn’t necessarily make you a good person or validate how you made that money. Jeffrey Epstein donated millions to charity, so should we overlook the fact that he was sex trafficking kids? That’s a rather extreme example, but rich people and companies donate millions to charity all the damn time. Jeff Bezos donates close to $1 billion in charity a year. Does that excuse Amazon’s unethical business practices and poor service? The idea that someone is better than someone else just because they donate more money to charity is stupid and asinine. I could tell you just how much money we (the actual company I co-own, not this blog) donated to charity since we started in 2023, but I don’t believe in bragging about charity. We also request that the recipients keep our donation anonymous to the public. Unlike Banksy, who would rather make a big song and dance of it.
Banksy might be a pretentious cunt, but at least he’s not a stupid cunt like you, Matt. Who’s the bigger loser here, the guy who wrote an article criticizing an overrated stencil artist, or the guy who’s out there white-knighting for the stencil artist like he’s gunning for the title of Dickriding World Champ 2025?
Here’s a hint, Matt: It’s you.
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