State of the Website Address 2026

It’s 2026. Let’s. Fucking. GO.

Another year down the crapper.

It’s been three years since I brought the site back, brought on more writers, and decided we were going to go nuts on making content for the site. We have absolutely nothing to show for it, traffic is still low as ever and the site is still garbage. My current number one article is a scathing article about Letterkenny. Here I am trashing a successful show on a glorified blog that nobody really reads. I look like an enormous hater.

I’ll be honest here folks, I don’t know how much longer we’re gonna keep this going. I’ve got plenty of better things to do with my time than write trash that nobody’s gonna read, and evidently so do my other writers. I basically have to blow the other writers in the janitor’s closet to get them to write anything these days. I don’t see much point in continuing this anymore.

Oh, and all that stuff I just said?

Quit deez nuts with ya mouth bizatch, AngryJerk.net and AJnet Magazine ain’t going nowhere. Can’t stop, won’t stop, we ain’t never gonna stop.

This is the part where I’d normally say that we’re doubling down. Fuck that, we’re not doubling down on shit. We’re tripling down.

We’re more successful than ever, so why the hell would we stop now? Here’s our agenda for the coming year.

1. Finding Frosty

Nobody’s seen Frosty since May of last year. He had one article autopublish back in June, but since then I haven’t seen hide or hair of the drunken jackass.

Normally I’d be fine with this, since all he did was randomly show up at my apartment and sit on his ass drinking beer (usually my beer). But I have Juan and Alex Jonestown nagging at me about how they’re concerned for his well-being or some other hippie dippy bullshit. Seriously, those two hate each other and they’ve put aside their mutual dislike to come together and be concerned for Frosty. I guess we should probably at least try to find the beer guzzling idiot and make sure he’s still alive.

2. Ditching Ionos

Fuck this shitty ass host.

Seriously, I’m done with this shit. Every other day the site randomly lags. Ionos is a trash host, and I have no real reason to continue using them.

I don’t care if their American office is in Philly. I’m switching hosts for the site, then I’m going down to their office in Logan Square, crashing a stolen Bugatti through the front window, having sex with the secretary on the CEO’s desk, then taking a big fat dump in their lobby and moonwalking my ass down to South Street, where I’ll probably stop at Atomic City Comics and buy $500 worth of comic books.

3. The AJnet Martial Arts Tournament

Who’s the strongest AJnet staff writer? That question will be answered this July!

We’re getting all of the AJnet Magazine staff together and holding a martial arts tournament. The three day tournament will be held from July 1st to July 3rd at the ~~Wells Fargo Center~~ Xfinity Mobile Arena in Philadelphia. Faces will be rocked. Noses will bleed. Bones will be broken. Brains will be damaged. Asses will be kicked.

Tickets go on sale in March.

4. Visiting data centers

At some point this year I’ll be visiting random data centers across not just the United States, but the entire world.

Why, you ask? So I can beat the ever-loving snot out of the douchebags who keep scraping this site. I’m tired of this crap flooding my traffic logs every day, half my traffic are hits from Boardman, OR, Ashburn, VA, Singapore, and a bunch of other places that are known hubs for data centers. Carl in IT has more specifics and tells me it’s next to impossible to stop these things and that he can just build me a tracker that will filter most of this out. Screw that, I’m not going to bow to these data grubbing bastards. This is war.

You guys want to hit my site then I’m going to hit you. In the face. With my fist. Repeatedly.

5. Ending the Russian invasion of Ukraine

I’ve had just about enough of Putin’s shit, and I’m personally going to end this conflict once and for all.

The first thing I’m going to do is fly over to Ukraine and meet with Zelensky. I’ll tell him he can stop begging for my money every five seconds like he’s Wikipedia, because I’m going to save his ass. In return I’ll ask for the Ukrainian military to replace the tryzub with my own logo, the letters “AJ” inside an orange circle. This ties in to my gorilla marketing campaign that I began last year. If Zelensky is serious about ending this war, he’ll agree. Otherwise I’ll just slap him around until he concedes to me. Dude’s a 5’7 manlet, the fuck he gonna do about it lol.

Once that’s settled, I’ll run the 1,000 miles from Kyiv to Moscow. After taking a five minute rest and changing out my shoes, I’ll walk right into the Kremlin like I’m Yujiro Hanma and start whooping Putin’s ass until he not only agrees to unconditionally end the war, but also step down from ruling Russia.

Once that’s settled I’ll get on TV and tell China to back off of Taiwan, otherwise that fat Winnie the Pooh looking motherfucker Xi Jinping is my next stop on the AJnet Ass-Whooping World Tour. If Kimmy in North Korea wants some then he can get some too, I got ass-whoopings for all you punk ass bitches. My new pronouns this year are “Fuck around” and “Find out”.

6. Fighting the entire Google Pixel dev team

I’d be lying if I said that this year wasn’t going to be a violent one. Everyone catching ass-whoopings in 2026.

I’m tired of this busted ass keyboard on my Google Pixel 8. The Pixel 6A had the same exact problem. I can’t even write a single sentence without correcting a mistake every few words. Typing on this thing has gotten progressively worse with every update. I’m not fat-fingering it, I make sure to go over every letter and the damn thing still gives me the wrong word. In the last year alone the accuracy rate has plummeted from 5% to 2%. My next phone is going to be an iPhone, fuck Google and their garbage tech.

Here’s an unedited paragraph so you can see what I’m dealing with.

Fuck this phone, it sucks just fuck. The series keyboard is trash, it can’t get shut right. Having to repeatedly fix all these mistakes hurts my thumb. Holy shit i actually got a sentence chest without having to fix anything. I hate this phone so much and I want to smash it into a minion pieces.

The Pixel dev team needs their asses beat. When I come back from whooping Putin’s bitch ass these cunts are next.

7. Figuring out the site’s direction

This site is garbage.

There, I said it.

The site has taken a huge nosedive in quality throughout 2025. This is mostly due to myself and our writers being busy with our real-life big boy (and girl, in one case) jobs.

When I rebranded as AJnet Magazine, I was hoping to turn this site into a respectable publication. Instead I’m here writing goofy nonsense about beating people up. It’s 2026, nobody finds that stuff funny anymore. Nobody ever found that stuff funny.

I’ve got one guy writing fake news stories, another writing transcripts of interviews with aliens, and yet another pretending he’s a parody of Alex Jones. There’s also a Mexican guy with an advice column where he gives serious advice but in intentionally bad English. I’ve got myself and my girlfriend pretending to be a crazy drunk guy, and since I quit drinking last year he’s gotten harder to write for. And if I’m lucky, Heston will write a history article for the site once every six months.

Oh, and I provide social commentary and rants about minor inconveniences in my life. And anime reviews. And making fun of Reddit posts. And reviewing people’s computer setups.

The site is a disjointed and aimless mess. The only common theme in our content is that it’s all half-assed. Other than that, there’s nothing really bringing the articles together. There’s no common thread or overarching topic. The theme for AJnet Magazine is basically just “Everything and anything the author feels like”, and our site’s tagline might as well just be “Fuck it”. It’s no wonder we’re getting crushed on Google by a chain of Jamaican restaurants in Maryland.

As the owner, CEO, and editor-in-chief, I take full responsibility for the poor quality and haphazard direction of AngryJerk.net, AJnet Magazine, and all the site’s content. All those other things I said earlier were just stupid jokes, but it’s my TRUE and HONEST goal to get this site back on track this year. The site turns 20 years old next year, and I’m not going to let it stagger into that milestone half-drunk with its dick in its hand.

We can do better than this. We need to pick something and focus on it. I’m not sure what direction we’ll be going, but we’ve gotta come up with something here because this current path just isn’t cutting it anymore. Everyone always says you need a niche. I hate niches, they limit me to what I can write. But as it stands right now the site is all over the place with its content. It might be time to find that niche.

I think in the coming year I’ll be giving a few of these writers the old boot in the butt, or at least reducing how many articles they write. We don’t need transcripts of interviews with aliens or parodies of Alex Jones. Fake news stories? This isn’t The Onion or Babylon Bee. This site needs to go back to what it does best: Social commentary. There’s a lot of bullshit in this world, and if I don’t call it out then who will? I could probably also stand to tone down on the childish threats. Let’s be real, I’m not whooping anyone’s ass, and I should stop fronting like I’m hard.

We’ll still be doing fun things like the AJnet Anime Club, the Reddit Revue, Battlestation Reviews, and the DrakeGTA Archives. Señor Juan will still be here to offer his advice to those who need it.

But I think that this year, AJnet Magazine will be focusing on the thing that made it great in the first place: Me being an angry jerk with a vendetta against the world.

We are so back.

Angry_Jerk

Adam “The Angry Jerk” Baker is the CEO of The AJnet Organization and Editor-in-Chief of AJnet Magazine. A grizzled internet veteran of over 20 years, he writes about politics, culture, and whatever else manages to annoy him that day.

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