Just where in the hell does that extra nine-tenths of a cent go when you buy gasoline?
A big old Texas howdy Truth Troopers! As always, I’m Alex Jonestown, Five Star General of the Truth Troopers, friend of freedom, enemy of evil, and the man bringing you the Truth™, the whole Truth™, and nothing but the Truth™, so help me God!
Troopers, I was filling up the Jonesmobile the other day when I noticed something strange. I looked up at that big old gas station sign and saw the price was $3.49 and nine-tenths of a cent per gallon.
Nine-tenths of a cent?
Now hold on just a goddamned minute!
When was the last time you saw nine-tenths of a penny? I’ve seen pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, and even one of those funny little dollar coins with Sacagawea on it. But in all my 50 years walking this great big blue marble we call Earth, I have never once held nine-tenths of a penny in my hand!
So where does it go?
“Oh come on Jonesy,” I hear you saying. “It’s just how gas prices work. They round the total off when you pay!”
That’s what they WANT you to think!
Readers, I may not have some fancy economics degree from Harvard or Yale, but ol’ Jonesy can do basic arithmetic. If I’m being charged nine-tenths of a cent on every gallon of gasoline I buy, then somebody somewhere is accounting for that nine-tenths of a cent. Money doesn’t just disappear into thin air, Troopers! If it did, my second wife wouldn’t have taken half of mine in the divorce.
The nine-tenths isn’t being rounded away.
They’re COLLECTING IT!
That’s right, Truth Troopers! Every time you pump a gallon of gasoline into your car, that missing fraction of a penny is being quietly skimmed off and diverted into a secret account controlled by The Powers That Be. You don’t notice because it’s less than a penny. The guy behind the counter doesn’t notice because his register rounds everything off. But somewhere deep inside that computerized financial network, those fractions are being counted!
Think about how much gasoline gets sold in America every day. Cars, trucks, buses, lawnmowers, boats, motorcycles, eighteen-wheelers, generators, you name it! Every gallon comes with that little nine-tenths tacked onto the end.
Nine-tenths here. Nine-tenths there.
Pretty soon those little fractions start adding up to a whole lot of money!
And just who controls that money?
You already know the answer, Troopers.
Worthington and his cronies have been financing the shadow government nine-tenths of a cent at a time right underneath our noses! We’ve been paying for our own enslavement every time we stop at Exxon, Shell, Sunoco, or whatever other gas station is nearest when that little orange light pops up on the dashboard.
“Now wait a minute Jonesy, Worthington is already the richest man in the world! Why the hell would he need to steal fractions of pennies from gas stations?”
Because running a shadow government isn’t cheap!
Do you think those secret underground bases pay for themselves? Do you think reverse-engineered alien spacecraft grow on trees? You’ve got scientists to pay, guards to bribe, politicians to buy, witnesses to silence, and miles upon miles of tunnels to dig underneath the United States.
And don’t forget Dulce!
Truth Troopers know all about the joint alien-human base buried underneath Dulce, New Mexico. The Powers That Be have been working hand-in-claw with extraterrestrials down there for years, conducting experiments that would make Josef Mengele shit his pants.
Where do you think the money for all that comes from? Congress sure as hell isn’t passing the “Build More Alien Laboratories Under New Mexico Act”! They can’t put that on the federal budget where regular Americans might start asking uncomfortable questions.
So Worthington came up with something better.
He made YOU pay for it!
Every time you fill your tank, another fraction of a cent goes underground to Dulce. Another fraction buys some scientist a new laser. Another fraction buys food for whatever reptilian abomination they’ve got chained up three miles beneath the desert.
And the sickest part, Troopers, is that they already admitted the whole thing!
Remember Superman III?
Richard Pryor’s character figures out how to steal fractions of pennies from financial transactions and funnel them into his own account. The joke was that the amounts were so small nobody would notice, but after enough transactions they added up into real money.
Sound familiar?
The Powers That Be put their own scam into a goddamned Superman movie!
They were rubbing it right in our faces! Hollywood showed millions of people exactly how the scheme works, then laughed because everybody thought it was just some goofy plot in a superhero movie.
That’s how these bastards operate. They tell you the Truth™ through fiction, then when somebody like ol’ Jonesy points it out they call him crazy.
“Alex got that idea from Superman III!”
WRONG!
Superman III got that idea from THEM!
Troopers, the evidence has been sitting on every gas station sign in America for decades. That little nine-tenths isn’t some harmless pricing gimmick. It’s Worthington’s cut.
While you’re standing there complaining that gasoline went up another ten cents, John K. Worthington III is slipping his hand into your pocket and taking that fraction you weren’t paying attention to.
Well Jonesy is paying attention!
Next time you fill up, look at that nine-tenths. Remember Dulce. Remember Worthington. Remember that every little fraction adds up.
They’ve been funding the shadow government one gallon at a time, and we’ve been paying the bill!
You know the Truth™ now, Troopers.
What the hell are you gonna do about it?
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