A restaurant in Maryland is using our name (The Angry Jerk)

A Caribbean restaurant in Maryland is calling itself “The Angry Jerk”. We’re calling them out.

There was a time when this site was the first result for “angry jerk” on Google. Now I don’t think we’re even anywhere in the results. And it’s all thanks to some stupid restaurant that called itself “The Angry Jerk”.

The Angry Jerk is a Caribbean restaurant with a few locations in nearby Maryland. It was apparently founded in June of 2021 by some guy named Jason Miskiri, whose big claim to fame was playing for the NBA for literally just one game (in which he succeeded in getting two fouls in three minutes) before being sent down to the NBA’s farm league (side note: TIL the NBA has a farm league). He’d later go on to do two years in jail for possession of 1,000 kilos of marijuana with intent to distribute, during which time he obviously contemplated taking his revenge on me and my website.

I don’t have anything against Caribbean food, nor do I actually have anything against Jason. What I DO have a problem with is that this restaurant usurped my position on Google.

I’ve known about this restaurant since before it even opened and it was being promoted as an upcoming restaurant in the Washington DC area. Slowly but surely, it overtook AngryJerk.net in the search results, bumping us down further and further and taking away our traffic. Rather than reassert my brand, I happily handed Jason and The Angry Jerk my crown and switched the site’s name to “AJnet” and eventually “AJnet Magazine”. Now AngryJerk.net is nowhere to be found in a Google search for “angry jerk”, completely eclipsed by a damn Caribbean restaurant owned by a failed basketball player.

I was a fucking coward.

AJ from 2007 would have embarked on a scorched earth campaign of complete and utter destruction against this usurper of his online alias. Prank calls, fake reviews, and countless other methods of questionable legality would have been deployed against The Angry Jerk, and wouldn’t have stopped until the restaurant changed its name, went out of business, or sent a legal notice to my house that my mom would have found and gotten pissed at me over.

Thankfully for everyone, I’m not the AJ from 2007. I’m the AJ from 2025, with much more sophisticated methods and far less blind hate.

I’ll cut to the chase here. I’m taking back the brand. I’m going to do whatever (completely legal stuff) it takes to not only get this website back in the Google results for “angry jerk”, but also reclaim our spot at the top. I’m coming for the crown, Jason. Thanks for keeping my throne warm for me, but now I’m ready to sit in it again, so get your ass up. The internet is big enough for more than one angry jerk, but only one can be the king. Is it gonna be the guy with the three minute NBA career and the drug bust, or the guy who’s been using the name “Angry Jerk” since 2001, has owned this website since 2007, and has used it to talk shit for almost 20 years?

It’s honestly probably going to be the guy with the successful restaurants, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try. Just like my personal hero Wayne Gretzky said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

How exactly do I plan on taking back my spot on Google? That plan is a work in progress. Which translates to “I got nuthin'”. But I think a good start would be more emphasis on the fact that the domain is AngryJerk.net. The more Google sees “angry jerk” associated with this website, the higher it’ll rank. In fact, this entire article is just a flimsy pretext to manipulate Google.

But I still like AJnet Magazine, so going forward we’ll probably call the site “AngryJerk.net presents AJnet Magazine” or something like that. I’ll probably also make a new logo and maybe even a new WordPress theme if I’m feeling particularly frisky.

And if that doesn’t work, well hey, we tried.

Protect ya neck, The Angry Jerk. AngryJerk.net is coming for the number one spot, and we ain’t stopping until we get it. Or until we get bored and give up, which doesn’t usually take more than a month or so.

Angry_Jerk

Adam “The Angry Jerk” Baker is the CEO of The AJnet Organization and Editor-in-Chief of AJnet Magazine. A grizzled internet veteran of over 20 years, he writes about politics, culture, and whatever else manages to annoy him that day.

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