AJnet Archives: Criminal Minds: A descent and reascent (Removed articles)

This month from the AJnet Archives: Two old articles about Criminal Minds!

I used to love Criminal Minds.

Ever since I was introduced to the show in 2006 by a girlfriend I couldn’t get enough of watching Agent Gideon and his team of FBI profilers hunt down serial killers using their intellect and cunning.

The show even inspired me to look into actually joining the FBI. My hopes were dashed instantly by the requirement of already having a degree in law (young AJ was dumb). They were dashed further by the physical fitness requirements (young AJ was fat). My hopes were scattered to the four winds never to be seen again when I saw how expensive the academy at Quantico was (young AJ was poor).

I’m no longer dumb, fat, and poor, but I’m also no longer young, so I couldn’t join the FBI now even if I still wanted to.

Most people understand that these shows aren’t really an accurate depiction of how the law operates, and I was well aware that the exploits of the Behavioral Analysis Unit in the show largely differed from real life. In reality, the BAU doesn’t go out into the field anywhere near as much as the agents do in Criminal Minds, and most of their job is boring desk work. Agents aren’t running around getting kidnapped by serial killers, and if they were those agents would probably have been transferred out of the BAU or asked to retire early.

I didn’t care about any of that shit, I just loved watching them psychoanalyze and chase down serial killers.

The show was great in its first two seasons when Mandy Patinkin (Inigo Montoyo from Princess Bride) was on the show. He’s a good actor, and Agent Gideon was by far my favorite character. Sadly, he left the show at the end of the second season, and was replaced with Agent Rossi, played by Joe Mantegna (Fat Tony from The Simpsons).

Mantegna isn’t a bad actor at all, but because young AJ was an over-critical cynical bastard, I took issue with his replacing Mandy Patinkin as the team’s boss. My anger at this perceived injustice inspired me to write an article about the series, titled “Criminal Minds: A descent”.

And not only did I write an article about why I liked the old seasons better than the new ones, I also wrote a recap of two episodes, specifically “No Way Out” and “No Way Out II”. Said recap included my own, um, “unique” twist on things. I’d like to say I had some idea of what was going through my mind, but I was probably halfway through a fifth of Smirnoff when I wrote this garbage. Man, the BAU would have had a field day with me.

This article, which relied heavily on tables, was removed when I made the transition to WordPress. WordPress didn’t, and still doesn’t, play nice with tables (as I’ve mentioned before). I have no idea how this will look on your device, hopefully it’s at least somewhat legible.

This is “Criminal Minds: A descent”, originally published in 2009.

I used to love this show. There were only two shows I’d watch: this, and House MD. Every Wednesday night at 9, I’d put on CBS and nearly jizz myself in anticipation of whatever case the Behavioral Analysis Unit might be working this week. This is a summary of the cast when I still enjoyed the show:

Supervisory Special Agent Jason Gideon- Bad ass fucking Jew played by Mandy Patinkin. This guy was the FBI’s top “profiler”, and the viewer need not ask why. Crazy douche bag killing blonde chicks? Yeah, okay. Ex-Marine serial sniper on a psychotic break picking off random people? Come get some, pussy. Sociopath who’s killed over 500 people? Get that bullshit out of my face. Psychobitch who imitates Jack the Ripper and cuffs her male victims to the bed before cutting them open? Gideon would catch her, then hit that shit all night. Gideon fears no one. When Gideon was the head of the BAU, nobody stepped out of line, lest they “accidentally” fall victim to a serial killer. After forcing some sociopath and his girlfriend to commit suicide, Gideon said “Fuck this boring shit, I’m out.” Rumor has it he’s still coaching Reid by phone.

Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner- Stereotypical government agent played by the guy from Dharma and Greg, except no Jenna Elfman to make up for his fagginess. Spends most of his spare time LARPing as Agent Smith and being an overall pussy.

Special Agent Derrick Morgan- Bad-ass muthafucka straight from fucking Chi-town, nigguh. If the FCC allowed the usage of profanity at 9 o’clock at night, he wouldn’t have any reservations about telling the unsub what a pussy ass bitchmade nigga they are. Actually, fuck the FCC, he DID call someone a bitch in one episode. In another episode, some guy attacked him with a baseball bat. In Morgan’s own words, “Big mistake.” The attacker was on the ground in 30 seconds flat. Morgan was also molested as a child, but does he play the victim card? Fuck no. He compensates for it by beating the shit out of pedophiles whenever he encounters them. Hotchner tried to get all up in his grill for not telling him about the molestation. Morgan’s response? “I fucked your wife, peckerwood.” Hotchner’s wife subsequently filed for divorce. Gideon gave Morgan a high-five for this then made Hotchner cry multiple times over the course of the next five episodes by bringing it up at inappropriate moments, like when talking to grieving families or addressing the media.

Special Agent Spencer Reid- Massive geek who will still hand you your ass. Was being personally trained by Gideon in the art of awesomeness prior to Gideon’s departure. In one episode, he tried to talk some guy out of shooting some punk ass kid who was about to rape the guy’s daughter, but the guy did it anyway. After talking to Gideon, he learned his lesson. In the next episode, this emo kid was going around killing people with an M16 rifle. The kid started walking up to the police station to kill the cops who had his girlfriend, but Reid wasn’t going to have that shit. He took off his bulletproof vest, walked right up to the kid, and said “COME AT ME BRO.” The kid put the gun down and pissed his pants. Here’s the scene:

“You guys were afraid of this pantywaist? Give me a fucking break!”

Special Agent Emily Prentiss- *fapfapfap*

Special Agent Jennifer Jareau- Unimportant slut who blew her way to being the BAU’s public relations bitch. Pretty much eye-candy for the male viewers:

Morgan about to hit that shit in a ploy by the producers to piss off the show’s racist viewers.

Garcia- Fat ugly hacker-turned-FBI-employee bitch who pops up coincidentally the same time as your dick when looking at Jareau. She is most comparable to Mimi from the Drew Carey Show. Most likely a subtle trolling attempt by the producers to mock the average female viewer of crime dramas. I will demonstrate later in this article just how painful Garcia randomly popping up can be.

So this was the team prior to Gideon’s departure. When Gideon left, we were told that he’d be replaced by Joe Mantegna. Most of you probably know Joe Mantegna as the voice of Fat Tony from the Simpsons. I know, how could they possibly have gone wrong? They made his character a whiny bitch, that’s how.

Here is the rundown of Gideon’s final episode:

	Alright, listen up faggots. Some dickhead serial killer in Nevada has called me out.
	Aw shit, it’s on now! Nobody calls Gideon out!
	Reid, shut up you brown-nosing faggot.
	Morgan, fuck off or I’ll call the president and have him repeal the 13th Amendment.
	You don’t have the president’s number man. Quit playin’.
	Hey Mr. President, it’s Gideon. I need a favor.
	Come on guys, let’s focus on the case.
	Hey Hotch, who- I mean, how is the wife doing?
	DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!
	OH SNAP!
	…
	Anyway, as I was saying, this dickhead in Nevada is calling me out. His name’s Frank and he’s killed over 500 people over the course of 20 years or some bullshit. I don’t know, I don’t care. All I do know is that nobody calls me out. Everyone meet me at the jet in 30. Prentiss, stay behind and give me head.
	Yes sir.
	What about me, sir?
	Hell no! You fucked Morgan, and nobody wants a woman that’s been with Morgan, right Hotch?
	… walks away, crying softly

Later, Gideon and Hotchner are talking to the family of Frank’s latest victim.

	sniff I loved my daughter! What kind of monster would do this?
	We’re sorry for your loss m’am.
	It’s terrible that someone would do this to your daughter, m’am. But in situations like this, you should always look on the bright side.
	Bright side? He drugged my daughter, then cut her open, took out her ribs, and dumped her body in the desert! What bright side could there be?
	At least she wasn’t a huge fucking slut like Agent Hotchner’s wife.
	Come on now Gideon, this isn’t appro-
	Hotch, face it. Your wife is a fucking slut.
	sniff What?
	M’am, I apologize for his-
	Agent Hotchner’s wife was fucking another guy behind his back. That guy happens to be another FBI agent on our team. I also heard she let some of the guys in Counter-Terrorism go family-style on her.
	Wow, what a slut.
	For real.
	You know what Gideon? You’re an asshole. I’m going to get you fired one of these days.
	Woah there, chill out dude! It’s not my fault your wife is a cum-dripping slut. Oh, and while we’re on the subject, I have a buddy who wants to know if she offers group discounts.
	FUCK YOU GIDEON. I HATE YOU.
	Under his breath That’s not what your wife said!
	What did you just say?
	I said your wife gives good head. Now let’s get the fuck out of here and catch Frank.

After doing a shitload of searching, Gideon manages to locate Frank and corners him in a diner.

	YOU’RE Frank? What the fuck is wrong with you? What on Earth would make you think you’re capable of calling me out like that? Don’t you know who I am? I almost feel sorry for what I’m going to do to your pansy ass.
	Ah, Jason Gideon, we meet at last. You see, I am a sociopath who has killed-
	Yeah, we get it. You feel no remorse, you killed 500 people, blah-dee-fucking-blah. So you have two options. One, I beat your pasty ass within an inch of your life then throw you in jail where you’ll be Bubba’s bitch for the rest of your life, or two, you end your worthless life and I still look like a hero. What’s it gonna be?
	Well, I am a sociopath, so I wouldn’t care about being “Bubba’s bitch”.
	What? Sociopathy has nothing to do with sexual preference you dipshit. You’re just a fucking faggot.
	Your insults do not bother me, because I am a-
	You’re a sociopath and a faggot. Whatever. Now what’s it gonna be Twinkletoes? Jail or suicide?
	Actually I will walk right out the front door and join my girlfriend Jane. Together we will live happily ever after.
	The place is surrounded by cops and FBI agents, so I’ll take that as suicide. Let me get my camera phone ready so I can put this shit on YouTube. “Dumb ass serial killer gets gunned down by shitload of cops”. This will surely be this week’s “Most Favorited”.

A moment later…

	What the fuck! Why is that piece of shit getting into my SUV with his crack whore girlfriend? I just got the upholstery done!
	He said he had a busload of kids stranded in the desert and if you wanted him to take you to them you’d let him go.
	“He said he had a busload of kids. Excuses excuses, cry cry cry.” Weren’t you guys supposed to be checking every single vehicle coming and going from this podunk pisshole? This is why I hate working with local authorities. You guys are fucking dipshits. Now I won’t get an award for “Most Favorited” on YouTube, and it’s all thanks to you. I bet you’re all “Amazing Atheist” fanboys. Fucking retards.

The episode was a two-parter. Basically Gideon lets Frank and his girlfriend go so he can save the kids and have a huge orgy with all of their moms. Frank and Jane escape into the desert, Gideon gets some ass, and is now very pissed off at the fact that Frank called him out and seemingly got away. But Frank didn’t count on the fact that Jane is a horny bitch and wants a real man to fuck her. So she leaves Frank and goes to Washington DC to be fucked by Gideon. Frank is now pissed off, so he kills one of Gideon’s fuckbuddies and taunts Gideon over the phone. Gideon gets even more pissed off, and finds Frank again, cornering him on a platform at DC’s busiest train station. With the unimportant shit out of the way, let’s see how this plays out.

	Alright you buttfucking faggot. This shit ends here. I’m going to beat the fucking shit out of you so bad your dead hooker mother will feel it.
	What, how did you-
	That’s right, we know your mom was a whore. Your secret’s out Frankie-boy. How did it feel knowing your mom was getting drilled by ten different guys every night? Did you tug your little dick while you watched?
	GIVE ME BACK JANE NOW OR I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!
	I wonder if your mom and Hotch’s wife are related somehow.
	WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, GIDEON?
	JASON, GIVE ME MY GIRLFRIEND BACK NOW OR THE LITTLE GIRL I KIDNAPPED EARLIER WILL DIE.
	I’ve got news for you, Frank. Prentiss found the girl the same time she found your whore mother’s corpse. Figures she died in her bed. As for your “girlfriend,” she’s busy getting tag-teamed by Reid and Morgan in an empty SWAT van. Oh, and I hit that shit earlier. She said it was good to finally be with a real man instead of some small-dicked “sociopath”. Word of advice, it’s gay to ask your girlfriend for a three-way with another man.
	YOU SON OF A BITCH!
	Hey Gideon, we’re back. You were right man, bitch is TIIIIIGHT!
	Hey Frank, Jane says you’ve got a 4 inch dick. I might have misunderstood her though. After all, I had my cock jammed down her throat.
	YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES! I’LL KILL YOU ALL!
	You’re kidding, right? Are you retarded or just incredibly stupid? You’re surrounded by the entire fucking SWAT team and a bunch of FBI agents on a train platform in the nation’s capital, you goddamn moron. Your “ace in the hole” has been blown, your girlfriend’s almost as much of a whore as Hotch’s wife, and you’ve got a small dick. You aren’t going to do shit except kill yourself like the bitch you are.

	The 4:15 is running on schedule, now go ahead and jump onto the platform or I’ll shove this handgun so far down your throat that Hotch’s wife will be jealous at your lack of a gag reflex.
	Wait until we get back to Quantico, Gideon. I’m reporting you to Strauss for violating protocol.
	Whatever, Strauss can suck my dick. Now let’s cut the crap and stop stalling, Frank. Commit suicide so I can upload the video to YouTube and get a million views.

Come on Jane. Our love doesn’t have to end in this world.

Frank and Jane jump and are hit by the train. Gideon uploads the video to YouTube from his phone and they all go back to FBI Headquarters. However, Agent Hotchner is tired of crying because of Gideon’s insults. He goes straight to their superior, Erin Strauss.

	So let me get this straight Agent Hotchner. The FBI’s best profiler is making childish insults about your wife and breaching protocol by forcing unsubs to commit suicide?
	That’s right m’am. He has even made these insults in front of a victim’s grieving mother. It’s apparent he does not value his position with the BAU.
	Well Agent Hotchner, I think you’re just being a whiny little bitch, but if I fire someone really high up it looks like I’m doing shit, and I’ll get to move to Homeland Security and work with a real man like Jack Bauer.

So Strauss calls Gideon in to can him.

	Agent Gideon, do you know why I called you in here?
	I know, you’re horny as shit. It’s about goddamn time. Now bend over that desk and hike your dress up. It’s time for a dicking.
	Agent Gideon, we’ve received reports that you’ve been saying inappropriate things to other agents.
	Yeah, I called Hotchner’s wife a whore. Now stop stalling and let’s fuck.
	Agent Gideon, I am your boss! Do NOT talk to me like that!
	Here’s my gun and badge. I quit this boring ass job. Now that you’re no longer my boss, bend the fuck over the desk and spread your legs. I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll scream. Jack Bauer ain’t got shit on me.
	Show me what you’ve got then, hot stuff.
	HEY GUYS CAN I JOIN IN?

Goddamnit Garcia, I was just about to fap.

So that was Gideon’s final episode. After that, he was replaced by “Agent David Rossi”, played by Joe Mantegna. Here’s Rossi’s first episode:

	Hi guys, I’m Special Agent David Rossi. Most of you remember me as the guy in charge of the Waco Siege.
	Bullshit, everyone knows that was Janet Reno!
	LOL, very funny Reid. Anyway, we have a new case. I’ll brief everyone on the plane. Meet me there in an hour. Agent Hotchner, stay behind please.
	You’re not going to make fun of my cheating wife too, are you?
	No. I understand how you feel, Agent Hotchner. Women are vindictive bitches. Besides, men know what men want.
	Rossi, what is this I feel right now?
	It’s passion. Don’t hold back Agent Hotchner. Let it come. Let yourself come.
	I love you, Agent Rossi. Pull down those shades and let’s violate some protocol.

The rest of the episode consisted of Rossi bitching at Morgan for not following protocol, and defending his tactics at Waco like some butthurt pussy. Reid was so pissed off at Rossi’s faggotry that he started shooting up heroin just to restrain himself, until Gideon called him and told him to grow a pair. Since then, he’s been putting Rossi in his place by doing shit like this:

Fuck Joe Mantegna for ruining what was once a very good show. I’ll be very surprised if this show makes it halfway through a 5th season.

Stupid wop.

That video was fucking stupid but I’ll be damned if it didn’t still make me crack a grin.

I have no idea why I ragged so hard on Agent Hotchner. The character was kind of stiff and bureaucratic, but not enough to warrant the treatment I gave him in this article. Though, I did feel kind of vindicated years later when Thomas Gibson flipped shit on set and got himself fired. I seriously don’t know how I accidentally call these things years before they happen.

The girlfriend who introduced me to the show had a huge thing for Reid. For some reason, instead of shit-talking the character out of jealousy, I decided that, yeah, he was actually pretty cool. I turned him into some kind of nerdy badass in this article, which couldn’t have been any further from what the character really was. I’d say he was probably my third favorite character in the series.

My second favorite character was definitely Agent Morgan, played by Shemar Moore. The guy was always getting angry and fucking up unsubs, which was cool enough. But on top of being a hot-headed tough guy he was also smart. I thought Shemar Moore seemed like a pretty cool actor so I decided to follow him on social media so I could keep an eye on his career. Big mistake. As it turns out, I was the only straight male who followed his Facebook page, and the page did nothing but post shirtless thirst shots of the guy for the army of very horny middle-aged women who probably also made up the bulk of the show’s audience. I think he’s currently in another action procedural show now, Google tells me it’s S.W.A.T.

Agent Prentiss, oh man, I always forget how hot Paget Brewster was. She’s pushing 60 now, but she still looks good from what I see. At the time I wrote this article, I had no idea that she was also a very popular voice actress for cartoons. She even voiced a character on Dan Vs., a very underrated cartoon that I discovered way too late in life. My thing for Prentiss led to me ripping into Agent Jareau. Whatever, no regrets, blondes are overrated and brunettes do it better.

I’ve never liked the quirky forensics/computer geek trope, and Garcia was no exception. It also didn’t help that she looked kind of like an ex-girlfriend. This uggo annoyed the shit out of me. Is she even in anything anymore? God I hope not.

I was upset at the change from Mandy Patinkin to Joe Mantegna, but I kept watching the show, probably because I didn’t have anything better to do on a Wednesday night. Eventually Mantegna grew on me, and I decided to forgive all the show’s transgressions against me with a follow-up article, “Criminal Minds: A reascent”. The article was just as autistic as the first one, and included my “special” version of the episode “100”. It was basically full of the same jokes about Hotchner’s wife being a whore, and- oh just read the damn thing for yourself:

As you may recall, I stated a while back that the television show “Criminal Minds” started to suck balls after its best actor Mandy Patinkin left and was replaced by Joe Mantegna, whose character was castrated. CBS read my article and decided I was right, so they did several things to improve the show:

–That fat ass computer bitch Garcia has gotten significantly less screen time.

-Rossi is no longer a bureaucratic fuck who gets on everyone’s ass about protocol. In fact, he tried to use Mafia connections to catch an unsub.

-Agent Hotchner made a nobel attempt to reclaim his manhood by literally beating an unsub to death with his bare hands.

-Agent Prentiss got rid of the ugly new hair style she was sporting in Season 4 and returned to the hot one we all know and fap to.

-The producers trolled everyone who likes this new vampire fad bullshit by having one episode revolve around a Marilyn Manson wannabe whose manager was using a paranoid schizophrenic fangirl to kill people and frame the singer in an attempt to boost his sales. The way the fantards were depicted, they might as well have just come out and said “Twilight fans are retards”.

-In one episode, Reid gets poisoned with anthrax and fucking lives, reminding us why he’s a badass.

Here’s a reenactment of one of the most recent episodes, where Agent Hotchner’s wife is targeted by a serial killer.

	Alright team. Agent Hotchner’s wife has been threatened by some guy calling himself the Boston Reaper.
	Aw hell no! Nobody’s gonna threaten my piece of ass like that!
	Please guys, not now. My wife’s life is at stake.
	And when we save her, her ass is going to be impaled by my stake.
	Aw snap!
	Goddamn Reid, don’t be so brutal. We need his whiny ass in one piece so we can find this faggot and save our gangbang whore.
	Sir, if the Reaper kills Hotch’s wife-
	STFU bitch. I don’t even know how the fuck you managed to be accepted into the FBI Academy let alone graduate.
	But sir-
	I said shut your whore mouth Agent Jareau. Nobody likes you because you give lousy head and you gave Morgan the clap. Everyone meet me in the garage in 10. Prentiss, wear your schoolgirl outfit with no panties.
	Yes sir. And no pigtails this time.
	Damn straight. I’m not a fucking pedophile.

So after assembling their fleet of black SUVs, the team heads to the house of Haley Hotchner’s assigned US Marshal, where they find him dead, and his gun and phone missing.

	Daaaaaaaaamn Hotch. Looks like your bitch was on the rag!
	LOL.
	My wife wasn’t even here asshole. It’s the blood of the US Marshal.
	But those are your wife’s panties on the couch. I’d recognize them anywhere.
	…
	He’s right Hotch. They even have her name written on them. “Property of Haley Hotchner”. See?
	Wait a minute guys, this doesn’t make sense. The Reaper is supposed to be some guy doped up on pain killers. How did he manage to kill a US Marshal armed with a .40 caliber Glock using only a knife?
	Hmm, good point. That would take discipline and skill on par with a ninja.
	It doesn’t matter. What matters is- phone rings Who the fuck is this?
	I’ve got your wife and your son, faggot.
	The Reaper! Don’t hurt them, please.
	Agent Hotchner, don’t you ever learn? I’m going to kill them, and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. You can’t trace this call, because the US Marshals have made the signal bounce all over the place. You’re 20 miles away, and I have a gun. They’re fucking dead. click
	FUUUUUUUUUCK. I’ve gotta get to my wife’s house.
	Hotch, that didn’t sound like the Reaper. Actually, it sounded more like-
	SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ASSHOLES.

Agent Hotchner leaves for his wife’s house. On the way, he receives another phone call from the Reaper.

	Your wife bought herself some time by giving me head, but now I’m going to kill her.
	Wait a second, can I please talk to her one last time?
	She’s got her mouth full right now, but I’ll let you talk to your son.
	Hi daddy! Mommy’s kissing her boyfriend’s private parts right now and he says he’s going to shoot.
	Jack, listen to dad. I need you to go work the case, alright?
	Okay! Bye bye daddy!
	Okay slut, say good night. *BANG*
	NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU BASTARD! I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!
	Whatever faggot. Come get me then.

Agent Hotchner arrives at his wife’s house, ready to kill the Reaper. As he bursts through the front door with his gun drawn, he observes the scene. His wife’s dead corpse lays on the living room floor in a pool of blood. There is no sign of his son. The curtain rustles. Agent Hotchner aims his gun at the curtain and fires. A man comes flying out with a knife. It’s the Boston Reaper.

	Oh hey faggot. Your wife is dead, LOL.
	Why? Why did you kill my wife?
	That slut gave me herpes!
	…
	Do you know how much fucking money I’ve spent on ineffective treatments to keep these blisters from coming back?
	…
	Come on, don’t just stand there like you’ve got a dick in your mouth. Say something!

Agent Hotchner is consumed by anger. He attacks the Reaper in what can only be described as pure animal rage. Hotchner brutalizes the Reaper with his bare hands. Right before he delivers the final blow, Hotchner asks the Reaper how he killed the US Marshal.

	You fucking pantywaist. How the hell did you kill a US Marshal using only a knife?
	Unh… What the hell are you talking about?
	You followed the US Marshal assigned to my wife home and killed him. Then you took his gun and used his phone to call me so I could listen to you kill my wife!
	You’re fucking delirious. Just kill me and be done with it!
	STOP LYING, ASSHOLE!
	Fuck it, I’m dead anyway. I didn’t kill your wife. I was going to, but some guy beat me to it. Probably the same guy who killed the US Marshal.
	Did you see him?
	Cough Jewish guy, about 6 foot tall. He was wearing a plaid shirt.
	FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! pummels the Reaper to death

Elsewhere:

LOL.

Yeah, I should probably stop here.

I should have probably stopped long before that. These articles are among some of the most autisticly stupid things I’ve ever written. Even if picturing Mandy Patinkin saying “LOL” did make me grin.

I stopped watching Criminal Minds not long after the second article went up. I had just discovered Lost, and in the process lost interest in Criminal Minds (get it?). I never came back to the show, but from what I understand it’s still limping on somehow. Is anyone from the original cast even still in it? Fucked if I know, I’ve got so many other shows to watch that I wouldn’t have the time to pick it back up even if I wanted to. The OG cast (with the exception of Agent Greenaway) was the best iteration of the show, and I think it would probably feel weird watching it without them.

For next month’s article, I think I’m finally going to go for it and republish one of my more offensive articles, titled “Another Race-Related Update”. Cancel deez nuts with ya mouth mothafuckaaaaaa.

Angry_Jerk

Adam “The Angry Jerk” Baker is the CEO of The AJnet Organization and Editor-in-Chief of AJnet Magazine. A grizzled internet veteran of over 20 years, he writes about politics, culture, and whatever else manages to annoy him that day.

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