The Truth™ about Fitness!

A big old Texas howdy, Truth Troopers! As always, I’m Alex Jonestown, proprietor of Truth™, friend of freedom, voice of the vigilant, and the Five Star General of the Truth Troopers.

We all know the fitness industry is one giant scam, with its supplements and its protein powders and its gym memberships that require divine intervention from God Almighty himself to cancel.

But that’s only half of the Truth™, or as we call it in the biz, Tru, because they’ve been shaving the Truth™ down for years. The swindlers and their scams are only the surface of what just might very well be one of the greatest lies ever told to the American people.

And, like always, ol’ Jonesy’s gonna blow the lid on it!

“Oh come on Jonesy, now you’re telling us that fitness is part of some big crazy conspiracy? Just what in the hell is wrong with getting some exercise and eating right?”

I’m no stranger to the weight room, Troopers. Back in my younger days you’d find me at the gym pumping some serious iron. I was no Arnold, but I was still fit as a fiddle. Then my first ex-wife happened, and just like every married man I put on some pounds. After the divorce I tried my damndest to get back to it, but then my second ex-wife happened. I threw in the gym towel and said “Well hell, if I’m not gonna be able to work out then I’ll dedicate that time and energy to the Truth™ instead.”

And that’s what I’m doing, Troopers. Instead of lifting weights I’m lifting the curtain and exposing the Truth™ about this whole fitness thing that’s sweeping these great United States.

There’s not a single god-damned thing wrong with exercising and eating good healthy foods. God didn’t put us here to sit on our asses and chow down on fast food chemical slop all day. He gave us two legs to walk His great green Earth, and two arms to harvest the plentiful bounty that His great green Earth provides us.

But those damn Powers That Be have taken His gift and corrupted it for their own plans. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t piss me the hell off, Troopers! These devil-worshiping bastards have taken the beauty of God’s creation and perverted it for their sick pleasure! Is nothing sacred anymore? They’ve taken something as pure as good health and corrupted it to suit their own sick needs. Your well-being is a commodity to be bought and sold. They aren’t even trying to hide it!

There’s a reason The Powers That Be want you in good shape, Troopers. There’s a war coming!

They don’t give a damn about your well-being! The Powers That Be are brewing up one hell of a shit storm, and they need strong capable soldiers to fight on their front lines. That’s why they’re bringing out all the stops to get you into their gyms and drinking their protein shakes. Only the strong survive. The Powers That Be can’t have a front line full of flabby weak wimps, they need lean and mean killing machines!

This is psychological warfare at its finest and straight from the big brains down at Langley. By making physical fitness another social media trend, The Powers That Be are ensuring that they have strong and capable soldiers to fight their upcoming war. All that extra money they’re making from those gym memberships and those expensive supplements? Well, that’s just a nice little bonus, isn’t it? Nothing wrong with making a quick profit off of our young men and women before we feed them to the meat grinder.

Now I know how it looks, Troopers. It looks like ol’ Jonesy’s telling you to let yourself go and become a fat sloppy mess just to spite The Powers That Be. That couldn’t be any further from the Truth™. God Almighty gave you that body, and He put you in charge of it. God Himself wants you to eat right and exercise. The Powers That Be only win if you lose sight of God’s gift to you. Work out, eat healthy, and get plenty of Vitamin C. The C, of course, stands for Christ.

I know it’s not always easy to get your exercise in or eat healthy foods. You’ve got a job to work, you’ve got kids to raise, you’ve got two ex-wives to pay. Sometimes you just can’t make time for yourself. But lucky for you, ol’ Jonesy’s here to help!

I’m offering all Truth Troopers the chance to purchase my male vitality supplements at a steep discount. Go to our online storefront and enter promotional code AJNET26 for 10% off not just Truth™ Male Vitality Supplements, but the entire line of Truth™ health products! (Promotional link removed. Don’t use this site to push your shitty supplements, Alex. ~AJ)

Troopers, if you’re gonna hit that gym and get your ass in shape, then make sure you’re doing it for YOU, and not for the military industrial complex. Get fit to fight, but not on THEIR front lines. Fight on the front lines of Truth™ instead!

Alex Jonestown

Alex Jonestown is a proud Texan and former host of Truth Troopers Radio, a show dedicated to delivering the REAL news before it was shut down by The Powers That Be. Now writing for AJnet Magazine, he continues his mission to expose conspiracies, reveal hidden connections, and deliver Truth™ to the public.

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