Why can’t I watch South Park???

It is COMPLETELY unfair that I’m not allowed to watch South Park even though Jay watches it all the time and then tells me about it like I’m supposed to know what he’s talking about.

Every time I go over Jay’s house he asks if I saw the new episode and I have to say no because my mom still won’t let me watch it. Then he tells me all the funny stuff that happened and laughs so hard he can barely talk, while I’m sitting there getting mad because it sounds awesome and I missed everything again.

At school Brandon starts talking about it too and now they’re both laughing and saying quotes from the show. I laugh because I don’t want to look stupid, but I didn’t even see it so I’m basically just guessing when I’m supposed to laugh.

I asked my mom if I could watch South Park and she said absolutely not before I even finished asking. She didn’t think about it or anything. She just said no because she says the show is inappropriate.

Okay but LOTS of stuff is inappropriate and people still watch it.

Dad lets me watch Family Guy sometimes and I’ve seen Stranger Things and The Walking Dead too. People get eaten by monsters in those shows. South Park is just a cartoon so I don’t understand why that’s worse.

I told Mom that Jay watches it and she said “Jay’s mother is not someone I take parenting advice from.”

I’m not stupid, that’s adult code for saying she thinks Jay’s mom is a bad parent. Jay is fine though. He knows more swear words than me and one time he set a napkin on fire, but he put it out in the sink and nothing happened.

Then Mom said “Maybe if I sat around drinking all day I’d let you watch whatever you wanted too.”

That seems mean because I only asked about a TV show. Also I don’t want Mom to start drinking all day because then she might forget to make dinner and we’d have to eat cereal for dinner like Jay does sometimes.

I’m not even asking to watch South Park every day. I could just watch the new episodes on Friday because I’m allowed to stay up later. Mom could sit there with me if she thinks it’s so bad. She watches shows where husbands murder their wives and hide them in the basement but I can’t watch Cartman say bad words? That doesn’t make any sense!!

She keeps saying I’m too young, but I’m almost ten. Ten is double digits and double digits means you’re not really a little kid anymore. Aiden is a little kid because he watches Cocomelon and screams when Mom turns it off. I can play Fortnite and Minecraft without screaming unless someone destroys my base on purpose, which is different because then they deserve it.

Adults say kids shouldn’t watch stuff but somehow they always know all the bad jokes already. I think they just want to keep all the funny shows for themselves. When I’m older I’m going to watch every single episode from the beginning to make up for everything I missed. I might stay up all weekend and watch them without sleeping, and nobody can stop me because I’ll be an adult!!!

Also when I’m a parent I’m going to let my kid watch South Park so they don’t have to sit at school pretending to know what everyone is laughing about. Unless they’re like five because five is actually little. But almost ten is old enough and this rule is STUPID!!!

Timmy Baker

Nine-year-old Timmy Baker is the writer behind AJnet Magazine’s Kewl Kidz Corner™. His interests include Fortnite, Minecraft, hockey, and Family Guy. His dislikes include his little brother Aiden, bedtime, and homework. He also has the coolest uncle in the world and probably shouldn’t let his mom know he’s writing here.

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