You know you’re a 90’s kid when you won’t shut the fuck up about it
How do you know when someone’s a 90’s kid? Simple, they won’t shut the fuck up about it.
Classics
Rage against the road
A few articles back, I wrote about Slowskis, a plague that blights America’s roadways. If you haven’t read the article yet, I suggest you go fuck yourself. Or you could just click the link in the first sentence and read it, that works too I guess. That article only touches the tip of the cock … Read more
The Mandela Effect is bullshit
Some people swear Nelson Mandela died in prison. Others insist The Berenstain Bears used to be spelled differently. AJ dives into the bizarre world of the Mandela Effect and explains why bad memory and mass stupidity make a lot more sense than reality itself being rewritten.
I hate Slowskis
Slowskis are the bane of my existence. You all know what a Slowski is. No, I’m not talking about the turtles from that Comcast commercial (Christ bro the spelling is even different and shit). I’m talking about the slow ass motherfuckers that hold up life in general with their snail’s pace lollygagging no-rush bullshit. Still … Read more
Tomatoes taste disgusting
If you took clumps of shit, rolled them into balls, and dyed them red, you’d have tomatoes. Tomatoes ruin anything they touch with their acidic bullshit, from sandwiches to salads. Their juicy bitter flavor overpowers pretty much anything. This is what any sandwich with a slice of tomato on it tastes like: All I can … Read more
Things I learned from “Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius”
For a kid’s movie, I’ve always liked Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius. How can you not? The plot takes every kid’s greatest fantasy of not having parental supervision, and crushes it by telling the kids that they’re helpless without their parents and should stop being unappreciative little brats. And if that’s not enough, just watch the … Read more
The internet is serious business!
What the fuck is this shit. Craig Mundie, some hotshot at Microsoft, is proposing the idea of a “driver’s license” to use the internet. And this employee of Time Magazine, Barbara Kiviat, is cheerleading the idea. Says Ms. Kiviat: What Mundie is proposing is to impose authentication. He draws an analogy to automobile use. If … Read more
The lying wop or the controlling cunt?
I hate the presidential elections. 99% of the time, both choices are useless. Gore and Bush. Bush and Kerry. Now, Clinton and Giuliani. People always say “If you don’t vote, you have no right to complain.” Why should I choose between two people I don’t want? “Choose the lesser of the two evils!” It’s like … Read more
Israel is NOT infallible
I’m tired of the huge double standard when it comes to Israel and their behavior on the world stage. If Israel attacks a country, it’s called “self-defense”. But if any other Arab country attacks another country, you can bet your sweet ass that the US Military will be over there in a heartbeat bombing them … Read more