Hola amigos, it is your pal Señor Juan back with more advice!
Juan very busy work taco truck sell many taco to hungry gringo. Uncle Paco tell Juan “Juanito you must take taco truck to casa de la Hector today”. Juan say yes that is fine but why and Uncle Paco tell Juan is Isabella quinceañera. Isabella es la hija de Mi Primo Hector. In Mexico girl have big party for 15 birthday is quinceañera like gringa have sweet 16 party. Uncle Paco tell Juan go to quinceañera make many taco. Juan say yes but no make mucho taco alone please give Juan help por favor. Miguel say I help you Juan but Uncle Paco say no I send Rolando. Juan no gay but Rolando es muy guapo you see Rolando you say “Yes Juan I no gay too but you are right Rolando es muy guapo.”
Juan and Rolando go to quinceañera and Juan say “Okay Rolando I make taco you give to customer”. Rolando say yes Juan is good. Juan park truck and Mi Primo Hector say “everybody taco truck is here come get taco now por favor” many young girl come to truck see Rolando say “aye yai yai I see taco come with extra hot sauce” is okay but many girl get taco but no leave truck what in the hell. Rolando say “chicas chicas you no order please go back to party por favor” but young girl say “I leave papi but you must come dance with us”. Rolando say no you are too young and I am married but crazy young girl no listen so Juan say “Okay Rolando now is your turn make taco I work at window”. Juan go to window and say “okay chica I take order now what you want” girl say “ew gross anciano no talk to me where is Rolando I no want taco from you viejo feo” and tell friends no go to taco truck is ugly old man now.
Today Juan answer question from man have young girl flirt with him like Rolando.
Dear Juan,
How do I get my friend’s teenage daughter (14) to stop flirting with me (35)?
My friend had a barbecue a couple of weeks ago and I noticed she kept looking at me. I didn’t think anything was weird about it until later she started grabbing my arm and saying “Wow Uncle Anonymous, you’re jacked!” I excused myself, but she came up to me again later and brushed up against my crotch. I know it was on purpose because she gave me a flirty smile. Later on that night we were sitting around the fire pit and she “accidentally” fell onto my lap.
When we left that night I asked my wife if she noticed anything about Friend’s Daughter’s behavior. My wife said yeah she definitely was flirting with me. She thinks it’s funny and says it’s just a harmless crush but I don’t. It’s inappropriate and it puts me in an awkward position. My friend is having another barbecue next weekend and I don’t want to go because I’m afraid his daughter is going to keep flirting with me again.
What should I do? My wife says she’ll talk to my friend’s wife about it if I want her to, but I don’t want to risk losing my friend because of this.
PS please don’t include my name if you post this. Thanks.
Anonymous
Juan read question and see you already have answer so why you ask question Señor Anonymous?
You say “what you mean Juan I no answer question that is why I send you email pendejo”. It is very easy and Juan tell you right now.
Señor Anonymous you tell wife and wife say she tell friend wife. Why you no do this? Is very good idea.
Juan understand you no tell friend you tell friend “Amigo your daughter flirt with me please make her stop por favor” friend say “ey punk my daughter no flirt with you she is little girl 14 year old and you are adult fuck you cabrón I call policía and gringo Chris Hansen you have seat right there puto dirty pedófilo I fucking kill you cabrón”. Man protect daughter no see her do flirt at barbecue with friend because man no want to see daughter flirt with man amigo. Juan no have daughter but Juan tell Mi Primo Hector and Mi Primo Hector say yes mi hija es mi ángel no trust creepy old man.
Wife think is funny crush. That is because wife little 14 year old girl before too and have crush on adult man. Is very normal Juan have many crush on adult woman Juan have crush on Salma Hayek many year ago on Mexico TV show Teresa Mi Hermana Josefina watch show Juan see big chichis say “¡Dios mío! Tetes grande aye yai yai Juan have mucho sex!” Mi Hermana Josefina say “what the fuck cochino” and hit Juan with frying pan but that is life. Uncle Paco say yes you are right Juan but no say in front of hermana and take Juan to Tijuana strip club see many chichis but Juan no tell that story now.
Wife know is little girl crush because wife also have little girl crush long time ago. Friend wife also have little girl crush long time ago too. That is why is good wife tell friend wife. Wife say “Mi amiga your daughter have little crush on mi marido is cute and funny haha remember when we were little 14 year old girl have crush on adult man too?” Friend wife say “Yes I remember haha I have crush on el padre de mi amiga haha muy linda.” Wife say Yes I know what you mean haha please talk to daughter por favor tell her no flirt with mi marido he is very embarrassed. Friend wife say yes that is fine I talk to her amiga thank you for bring to my attention now let’s go have more wine and talk about gringa TV show Handmaid’s Tale. Later at night friend wife tell daughter “ey what you do no flirt with el amigo de tu papá is grown up adult he is too old for you chica flirt with boy at school instead”. Friend daughter say “yes mamá you are right I flirt with cute boy in gringo history class instead.”
You no need Juan help Señor Anonymous because you already have answer. Maybe next time Juan send you question ask for advice haha just kidding.
Best of luck to you amigo.
Do you have a problem and need advice? Send Juan an email at [email protected] or leave a comment below and your question may be answered in a future Dear Juan article!
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