Rage against the road

A few articles back, I wrote about Slowskis, a plague that blights America’s roadways. If you haven’t read the article yet, I suggest you go fuck yourself. Or you could just click the link in the first sentence and read it, that works too I guess. That article only touches the tip of the cock … Read more

I hate Slowskis

Slowskis are the bane of my existence. You all know what a Slowski is. No, I’m not talking about the turtles from that Comcast commercial (Christ bro the spelling is even different and shit). I’m talking about the slow ass motherfuckers that hold up life in general with their snail’s pace lollygagging no-rush bullshit. Still … Read more

Minecraft on Xbox is bullshit

Am I the only one who realizes how much Minecraft actually sucks? I used to love this game, I really did. I would play it religiously back before it was even in beta. Before it gained the massive legion of obsessive fans. Before all the fancy features like redstone wiring, End Portals, and Strongholds. Before … Read more

Your shitty tattoo isn’t “artistic expression”

A disturbing new trend has emerged in America:   Everywhere I go, I’m surrounded by skanky-looking women with the same ugly bland tattoos. The butterfly on the neck. The stars behind the ears. The random shapes jutting out from above the asscrack. The Asian characters that mean generic things like “Love” or “Peace”. What the … Read more

Tomatoes taste disgusting

If you took clumps of shit, rolled them into balls, and dyed them red, you’d have tomatoes. Tomatoes ruin anything they touch with their acidic bullshit, from sandwiches to salads. Their juicy bitter flavor overpowers pretty much anything. This is what any sandwich with a slice of tomato on it tastes like: All I can … Read more

Twilight bashing is fucking stupid

When it comes to the Twilight series, it’s the same fucking thing everywhere I go. Over and over, people are parroting the same cliché opinions about these books and movies. “Twilight sucks!” “Twilight is gay!” “Edward Cullen is a faggot!” We get it, Twilight is shitty. Yeah, I’ve heard enough about the series to have … Read more

The internet is serious business!

What the fuck is this shit. Craig Mundie, some hotshot at Microsoft, is proposing the idea of a “driver’s license” to use the internet. And this employee of Time Magazine, Barbara Kiviat, is cheerleading the idea. Says Ms. Kiviat: What Mundie is proposing is to impose authentication. He draws an analogy to automobile use. If … Read more