Am I the only one who realizes how much Minecraft actually sucks? I used to love this game, I really did. I would play it religiously back before it was even in beta. Before it gained the massive legion of obsessive fans. Before all the fancy features like redstone wiring, End Portals, and Strongholds. Before … Read more
Some time ago, the local Checkers (Rally’s to some of you) fucked up my order. Worse, they took 20 minutes to do it. Even more worse, they did it at 1 in the morning when I was moderately drunk and craving three greasy fat-packed cheeseburgers. After stumbling home, I found that my burgers had NO … Read more
A disturbing new trend has emerged in America: Everywhere I go, I’m surrounded by skanky-looking women with the same ugly bland tattoos. The butterfly on the neck. The stars behind the ears. The random shapes jutting out from above the asscrack. The Asian characters that mean generic things like “Love” or “Peace”. What the … Read more
If you took clumps of shit, rolled them into balls, and dyed them red, you’d have tomatoes. Tomatoes ruin anything they touch with their acidic bullshit, from sandwiches to salads. Their juicy bitter flavor overpowers pretty much anything. This is what any sandwich with a slice of tomato on it tastes like: All I can … Read more
From: Maddox <[email protected]> Subject: My Nigga Hey Angry Jerk, it’s your biggest fan again. Just wanted to let you know that I’ve begun work on that AngryJerk.net fanpage I was telling you about. I’m more than honored that you have bestowed upon me the prestigious title of “Knight Commander of the Empire of the Phoenix … Read more